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Until genetically proven otherwise…

  • Posted on March 10, 2010

I will not accept the label of being a high-functioning autistic any more than I would being labeled as belonging in the male gender of the human race. It’s usually much easier to know the difference between a man and a woman than it is to know the difference between an autistic and an Aspie. Increasingly more people will probably deny there is a difference between auties and Aspies, especially since the Asperger label is planned for extinction. I can’t do anything about what other people choose to believe and other people can’t do anything about what I choose to believe. No one can please everyone all the time.

Whoever might call me an Aspie supremacist just because I choose to use the term Aspie (rather than high-functioning autistic for describing my neurological classification) would probably be upset with the term Aspiephobic. It’s unfortunate that there are some neurotypicals who don’t have enough empathy to realize what a hornet’s nest they’ve stirred up by introducing disrespectful terms to describe other human beings who deserve to be treated with equal dignity.

In case if my habit of using the lower-case a for autistics and upper-case A for Aspies may get misconstrued as being an indication of a supremacist attitude, I will explain why I do it. I think of Aspergers as being like a nationality and autism as being like hair, eye, or skin color. I’m entitled to my theories and have no desire to say more than what I already have on this matter.

I would like to bring back attention to a paragraph from the second online page of the New York Time’s article A Powerful Identity, a Vanishing Diagnosis by Claudia Willis (published last November 2nd), that seems to not get the full attention it deserves:

The proposed elimination of autism subtypes comes at the very moment when research suggests that the disorder may have scores of varieties. Investigators have already identified more than a dozen gene patterns associated with autism, but Dr. Lord, of Michigan, said the genetic markers “don’t seem to map at all into what people currently call Asperger’s or P.D.D.”

What puzzles me is, “How can something be a subtype of something else that’s unrelated genetically?” In spite of more than a dozen gene patterns associated with autism not seeming to map at all into what people currently call Asperger’s, the identity of Asperger’s will still be an autism subtype?

I recently eliminated the use of pages about Aspergers on my blog. As I’ve said before, what I’ve written on those pages still exist; they simply don’t exist as pages anymore — they’ve been transformed into posts instead. I’m not even going to link them to this post. The main reason behind its diminished appearance is because of something I read in the devotional My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers for February 24th:

We have no right in Christian work to be guided by our affinities; this is one of the biggest tests of our relationship to Jesus Christ. The delight of sacrifice is that I lay down my life for my Friend, not fling it away, but deliberately lay my life out for Him and His interests in other people, not for a cause.

More than two years have passed since I began this blog. In hindsight, I progressively see when, where, and how I’ve been getting myself involved in fighting for a cause. That never would have happened if I wasn’t guided by my affinities. I can understand the passion behind what motivates such blogging, but will others be able to understand my dwindling enthusiasm for being involved as an advocate for anything other than the salvation of those who are lost?

Not being an advocate anymore for a worldly cause doesn’t mean that I will not include Aspergers anymore in my writing. If it were possible, in a way I’d prefer to go back to how life was before Aspergers was known about. I was still the same person and I could live my life without mentioning the word Aspergers. I can still go on with my ‘normal’ daily life without bringing it up again, but since I’ve let my ‘Aspie aspect out of the bag’ for the world to see, it makes little sense to shove the Aspie identity of me now back into that bag and act like there’s something offensive about it.

Splitting for Spring

  • Posted on March 8, 2010

I’m springing to split for spring. Actually it’s not me that’s splitting; it’s my blogging. As of today, my blog has begun to split.

On this domain → sheilaschoonmaker.com ← new posts will include topics in these categories: Aspergerings, Aspie Myths, Cogitations, and Solutions. The aim is to continue satisfying readers coming from the autism hub (or other Asperger related links) and anyone else looking for educational material. The posts in the other categories no longer listed in view shall remain.

On the other location at sheilasposts.com, new posts will include topics in these categories: Devotions, Snapshots, Memoirs, Amusements, Cogitations, and Solutions. Because I don’t want to bore my family and friends any longer with Aspergers, they now can enjoy my blog without having to see the categories: Aspergerings or Aspie Myths.

Think of  “S ~ S” as becoming more fine-tuned for a general audience whereas “Sheila’s Posts” will be more appropriate for those who know me offline and may be curious to know what I’m up to lately.

This split will also slow down the amount of posts accumulating. Hopefully it will help newcomers feel less overwhelmed if they want to catch up with reading.

Out of a Brier Patch

  • Posted on March 7, 2010

I feel much better now that I’ve gotten out of a tangled mass of prickly plants that were only getting thornier with each passing day, week, and month (since autumn began last year!). Not much unlike how you feel when thorns grab your clothing and make progressing forward painful, the company that once hosted my sites can no longer snag my page loads or leave them stuck unable to appear. If I waited until May the 22nd to relocate my sites onto a different hosting server — due to a two-year pre-paid subscription with Netfirms and their no refund policy — I wouldn’t have a shred of sanity left!

Now that I’m finally out of that brier patch and can move along at a pace that’s decent for page loads, I can begin to let my festering wounds from unceasingly unacceptable frustration levels heal.

What pushed me past my limit was having pages timeout just when I’d be feeling good about having found solutions for WordPress irritations. The annoyance level of the page loads combined with some of the bugs that come attached with the newer WordPress versions were not making my days travel efficiently productive.

I’m very persistent when it comes to fixing things and tend to get intolerant of inconvenient conveniences while doing so. For example, I got fed up with WordPress’s excessive autosave, broken scheduler, and invalid “role” attribute. To make matters worse, the tweaks for the “missed schedule” headache weren’t working for me even though they seemed to for many others who applied them.

Untwisted Vortex tells how to adjust WordPress autosave or disable it completely, obus3000 brings Missed Schedule posts back to life, and Longworth.eu gives great instructions on how to remove WP’s invalid attribute from the search form in a not so WC3 compliant blog.

Postscript — I thought the autosave occurring so often was to blame for the posts not publishing when scheduled, but it wasn’t. Here’s what I wrote a couple of days ago (with the name “Missed Schedule Nightmare”) and deleted after trying out my new plugin to see how well it works:

This nightmare didn’t require me to go to sleep. In fact, trying to solve this mystery has prevented me from being able to get sleepy. Maybe after I write about it and check to see if I’m not dreaming now, then I can go to sleep before the sun comes up.

After writing my previous post about disabling autosave, I wanted to check to see if my new install of WordPress would publish the post on schedule. I was feeling pretty good about quickly the solution worked. Little did I know what was coming next!… or more like what wasn’t coming next.

For hours I repeatedly tried to get my scheduled post to publish itself. Why? Because I kept thinking, “This one more try will do the trick.” The one more, led to one more, etc., etc. Not too many things bug me quite like thinking I’m so close to figuring something out, but yet can’t do so.

I don’t know why the suggestions that worked for most other people with their blogs would not work for me. But, when the solution does come, it can come so fast that it’s hard to know whether to be happy it did or mad that it took so long to find.

Most of the pages of suggestions I came across dealt with altering the cron.php file. By the time I arrived at a plugin called Missed Scheduled, something about the words, “Brings Missed Schedule posts back to life.” gave me instant hope (probably because of seeing all four of its rating stars nicely yellow!).

I’m probably still typing this because I’m a bit nervous to actually double check to see if the Missed Schedule nightmare is really over. If I don’t say anything more, it means I finally went to bed because of knowing the plugin really did work and it will still be working when I get up in the morning.

(The Missed Scheduled plugin still works!)

It Works Both Ways

  • Posted on March 5, 2010

It’s now March and this morning I was remembering when my husband and I attended a Christmas party he was invited to last year and told to bring his wife. The ones who hosted it are local to the area. Being country people, they are typically more of the down-to-earth and laid-back type of crowd. In spite of them lacking the stronger competitive urge to be impressive and show off (that’s too often found among the suburbanites who are generally handicapped in this aspect), I noticed they are no different than any other neurotypicals (generally speaking).¹

Everyone at the party (except for me) was engrossed in conversation. It was obvious they didn’t want to make eye contact with me. It felt as if they were too afraid to. If someone was to make eye contact with me, it would be obvious if they didn’t smile back at me while I’m smiling at them. I know I can trust my husband to give me honest and neutral feedback on what he observed going on. He confirmed my suspicions about how awkward and uncomfortable NTs feel around Aspies they haven’t had to experience time getting acquainted with.

I think that NTs don’t realize they can be just as incapable of knowing how to socialize as Aspies can be in a culture unlike their own. The reason NTs don’t realize this is because their confidence level in socializing is typically much higher due to living in a world that’s dominated by their own kind. That would explain the mental attitude behind why they think they need to ‘fix’ Aspies.

Last night, I watched an episode of NBC’s show Community. I’ve probably missed seeing most of them. My curiosity to see how this sitcom was progressing with the main character Abed (an Aspie) got the better of me, so I took a break and watched tv for half an hour (I rarely watch television). I’m glad to see that this show is portraying an Aspie character as accurately as it is and that it’s being done in a positive light. In hindsight, I see I was too hastily over-judgmental.

I’m impressed by how creatively the producers are incorporating Aspie traits into their plots. The ones I’ve been seeing lately have been thought provoking to me and I hope the effect is the same for NTs. I doubt most NTs delve into deep thoughts while being entertained, but maybe the show will influence them into doing so. Abed has that affect on his classmates. Maybe it will rub off to viewers?

¹Even if the Martha Stewart crowd had barns filled with cows, they’d never entertain guests in an atmosphere where people could come in and leave their dirty boots on. I loved being able to relax sitting on a bale of hay among cows chewing their cud and watching cats roam in the barn while others were chattering away in their own world.

Too Many Wet Blankets

  • Posted on March 2, 2010

A wet blanket is someone who spoils the pleasure of others. I’ve always had a few wet blankets around to dampen my pleasures. Maybe that’s why the increasing quantity of them lately are causing me to rethink how I’m spending my time?

After enjoying years of tinkering around with web publishing, my interest in it is over. The main catalyst to blame is my hosting company. Many times I’ve considered publishing the details of what I’ve been (and still am) going through with this lousy company. The trouble basically began last September and has been progressively getting worse. It’s a tie between how poor their service is and how dishonorable they are. Getting locked into a subscription without a money-back option for failures to provide proper service is like doing jail time.

I’ve come close to opening up an account with other hosting companies, but before the final commitment, there was always something to deter me from following it through to completion. I know there is no such thing as a perfect hosting company and I’m well aware of what to realistically expect from shared hosting. In fact, I’ve done so much research while shopping to compare my options that I couldn’t help but finally notice what was really bothering me (beyond the fear of being pushed into wasting money again by getting stuck with a company that refuses to do business fairly).

Just because most other people aren’t disturbed by the potentially low level of risk for headaches from reputable businesses doesn’t mean I’m not. Being that my pet peeve is idle talk and there is no way to prevent the piles of BS commonly passed around these days, it makes no sense for me to stay in an environment where such behavior comes with the territory.

Tech businesses excuse poor management and nurture irresponsibility by telling people they’ve run into technical difficulties. Yes, tech issues happen. But, those problems are ultimately always caused by people. In the case of large hosting companies, it’s usually because they get greedy, too big for their britches, and are able to be irresponsible without having to suffer the consequences. Trouble can also arrive like it does when having too many chefs in the same kitchen, too many chiefs in the same tribe, or too many people working for the government.

Having an excessive amount of patience for too long with too many things is starting to take its toll. There are some benefits though that go along with it. One, for example, is that its consequences seem helpful for sorting things out to make better decisions. Even simply knowing that its best I avoid doing projects others might have the potential to affect what I’m doing makes it easier for me to relax. Only those who have experienced chronic insomnia know how important it is to not stimulate an already hyper-sensitive nervous system.

On January the 30th, I mentioned it had been 60 days since I came to the conclusion that my days for being able to have any form of drug, in any amount, now has intolerable consequences. Now that another month has gone by applying that knowledge, it’s becoming increasing evident how important it is for me to always be strict about guarding what affects my nervous system. As my ability to sleep improves, so does my ability to discern what aggravates my sleep cycle. I’m finding the discovery experience actually quite interesting.

Searching for motives behind why I do what I do (or don’t do it) appears to be a key element behind knowing how to live more abundantly. I could never do such a thing alone. With God’s Holy Spirit, prayer, and His word as stated in the Bible, God makes it possible to introspectively examine self. Ironically, it’s a process that progressively reveals how the right to self ultimately is to blame for getting in the way of making improvements.

God’s providence brings to us the right variety of unpleasant imperfections found in others that we may need to help us overcome our own. So, the next time a wet blanket dampens your spirits, consider the possibility that it’s there for a useful reason.

Postscript added 10 hrs. after publication — I forgot to mention what I’ve experienced from those in other directions in regard to being in a web publishing environment. There are a remnant I find to be respectable, but in my own personal experience (generally speaking), there are too many wet blankets in web publishing forums and too many who displayed an interest in wanting my assistance while at the same time consistently refusing to show any evidence of genuine appreciation.

The level of arrogance to be found among the majority of those who I’ve had to deal with in the realm of web publishing told me it’s no place for a person to be who too often struggles with feeling good enough and has repeated battles with confidence in what she’s doing.

Winter Breaks

  • Posted on February 28, 2010

(Click on any image to view it enlarged.)
Way DownBreakingDownerFenced In

Yay!… I’m glad to have an internet connection again! It could be gone again anytime though, so I better not get too excited.

Snowy FunSnowy WoodsDepressed PlantMow Snow

I was wondering when winter was going to come before it could begin to go. What’s been missing was some heavy-duty snow.

CloudsTips of TopsMixed UpStormy

It finally arrived during this past week… breaking electrical, telephone, and cable connections along with it.

North-WestSnappedCool DripsSnowballs

When life hands me snow, I feel like taking pictures to make it last longer! They’re good to look at in the summer.

TippingTree BirdBirdsHeavy Snow

Some shots can look like a glacier receding while others (to me) resemble a bad hair day. Hey… no ticks yet!

Pre-springSnow Spider

I never heard the sirens roar so many times around the clock as I did in this past week or hear trees snapping so often!

Guess what? More snow is on its way!

Appreciating Strict DTD

  • Posted on February 22, 2010

Strict Document Type Declaration suits my way of thinking. I’ve been told I look for problems before they exist and that I should wait until I have them first [before thinking more thoroughly about what I'm doing]. ( ← The bracketed words are how I rephrase their message to me.)

Imagine if the W3C (World Wide Web Consortium) thought the same way like most people do. Most people don’t know, and don’t care to know, what kind of mess it would lead to if the W3C didn’t start depreciating certain attributes in the markups of code. How code is marked up directly affects each element of every page headed for a site online. Those who only browse the internet are only concerned with what they see, but what they will see over the long term is affected by what they don’t see.

Most people also aren’t interested in thinking about what effects inconsistencies between browsers can cause. They just use them and only care about being able to see what they want to look at. That’s fine and not much different from not caring about knowing all the details behind what makes an automobile able to get you from one place to another, or knowing everything about how your body functions to keep you alive. Mechanics are for car care. Doctors of for body care. The illionaires of the W3C¹ (World Wide Web Consortium) are for web care.

If you observe what types of people comprise the membership of the W3C, you’ll notice a common denominator. They’re highly intelligent, strongly motivated to work hard all the time, and are not quitters. If this were not true, they wouldn’t be part of the elite group of members who get to set the standards for how the world wide web operates.

To get ahead and stay successful usually requires self-discipline. It takes self-discipline to learn how to write code that will pass the standards of validation set by the W3C for Strict DOCTYPEs.

When the W3C phases out support for style sheets as they mature, those who remain complacent with their Transitional DOCTYPEs are going to reap the consequences (assuming, of course, the work they did wasn’t for someone else to have to live with).

Immediate gratification is immature thinking. Maturity is full development. Everything in life is meant to develop fully. To stay stagnant at a level of growth before reaching maturity prevents the fruits of labor from forming. We have stages in life meant for transition and learning. It’s a grace period for our mistakes.

For example, if we eat too much, we notice we gain weight. If we don’t learn from our mistakes and correct our ways, we end up becoming progressively more overweight. If we spend faster than we earn, we accumulate debt. Houses quickly constructed aren’t likely to last like the ones built slower with meticulous care.

Transitional DOCTYPEs are the grace period for web publishing. They’re training wheels for riding the big boy’s bike, but someday those training wheels won’t be able to adequately support the weight demanded by the latest versions of browsing software.

I hope that others who may be discouraged by the pain involved in going from the use of Transitional to Strict DOCTYPEs get encouraged by reminding themselves why standards came to be the way they are. It’s for everyone’s benefit in the long run. The upkeep of sites will be a lot easier; much like a structurally sound house requires less maintenance work.

Strenuous physical exercise usually doesn’t bring pleasurable results until afterward. Intellectual workouts aren’t any different. The more that are successfully tackled, the more gratifying they become. Figuring out ways to make your CSS files accomplish the most they can for you is like having dedicated and faithful servants to do your chores without them requiring anything in return. All that is requested is to be clearly told what to do, how to do it, and what the priorities are.

I am far from having mastered everything there is to know about Strict DTD, but to even begin wanting to get acquainted with it requires appreciation first. After all, how many people want to get to know someone who doesn’t seem worth knowing?

¹I say illionaires since those with their caliber of wealth will only get progressively richer as the rest of us get poorer. The billionaires of today were yesterday’s millionaires and will be the future’s trillionaires.

Two Hues for You

  • Posted on February 17, 2010

Click on the unedited images to see them enlarged:
Fiery SunsetCool Morning
Westward, sunset vs morning; warm colors contrasting cool.

You think colors/time of day can affect moods maybe?

To My Valentine

  • Posted on February 14, 2010

What happens when you’re married to someone who doesn’t like money spent on cards for special days? Well, if you’re like me and you don’t care what the rest of the world thinks about your poor skill at writing poems, you slap one together and throw it online to surprise your mate! Here you go dear… this one’s for you by your Looney-Tunes love’n wife! —

My sweet Bugs, an odd couple we are!
So close… but yet seemingly far.

Will you bring me flowers, pink and red?
love me still, though we’re long wed?

Your fuzzy chest… so grey and cute,
stole my heart and kept as loot.

It didn’t happen overnight.
There were times you gave me fright.

Friction between us blistered our pride.
There was nowhere to run or go hide.

Love is not a feeling nor something to spoil.
It’s a lifelong commitment to be loyal.
Bugs Bunny Valentine
It’s made towards only one —
whether or not there’s any fun.

I won’t recall my better days.
The past’s a trap anyways.

We’re together in what’s ‘now,’
God knows I’ll find out how,

…to be my best for you yet still,
before life’s over, that I will!

What can I give you, my sweet Bugs?
Lots of kisses and long warm hugs!

You’ve been my Valentine for years already,
that’s what helps make my life steady.

It’s not predictability that gets boring,
nor is it hearing your loud snoring.

The culprit of boredom is the wanting.
Instead of giving, my selfishness gets haunting.

Valentine’s Day is for lovers.
Let’s always stay under our same covers!

How Odd

  • Posted on February 6, 2010

Oswald Chambers states in his book The Moral Foundations of Life in the chapter Natural Growth in Supernatural Grace, “If you live much by yourself you become an oddity, you never see the quirks in yourself.”

Most people want to be unique, but don’t want to be perceived as odd. By definition, there are no degrees of uniqueness. Either someone is the only one of his kind or he is not. On one level, everyone is unique, but superficially most people are not.

Since most people have a social life, their quirks in behavior are not peculiar. They can’t be if they’re going to have a social life. Being sociable requires staying within the boundaries of what’s considered usual behavior and not scaring people by behaving and/or thinking in ways unexpected. Insecure people find comfort in predictability, so when a person comes along who is enigmatic (as in the sense not clear to understand), he acquires the label of being odd. Once that happens, anyone who associates himself with the odd individual risks becoming an outcast from his own kind.

There exists a poignant difference or incongruity between what is expected and what actually is in regard to being superficially unique. It’s hypocritical to diagnose superficially unique persons as a minority to be biased against. That’s being prejudiced and proud. These are the days the majority insist on tolerance of all individuals, but yet those making the most noise in that populace are unable to see their own quirks because of being enmeshed into their own agendas.

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