Because aspies don’t speak the same language as the NT culture and vice versa, Aspies have one of two choices when it comes to trusting people. Either they believe the best about another person first (innocent until proven otherwise) or they believe the worst (guilty until proven innocent).
Because the majority of people are neurotypical, they set the standards for what’s expected socially. What do they expect? They expect everyone to believe the best about them until it’s obvious motives should be under suspicion. It’s what sort of works for their society, but what about the aspie culture? What happens to them because of it?
Asperger people have two major differences that need to be kept under consideration for such things as how to treat others when getting to know them. First of all, aspies don’t play social games. What you see is what you get when you meet an aspie. They mean what they say and they say what they mean. The second thing about aspies is they either can forget, or they’ve never learned, that an NT speaks louder non-verbally than verbally. If an aspie doesn’t have this awareness on guard, a clique of NTs can have some fun playing social games at an aspie’s expense. Don’t be fooled; there is no such thing as outgrowing immature behavior.
I shall share a real life example of this (this is only one out of many; some are more cruel than this):
Almost 30 years ago, when I was about 24 years old, I worked briefly as a telephone reception clerk at the Mohonk Mountain House. This place is supposed to be a high-class resort, but I guess that wouldn’t include some employees though. My work space was occupied by grown women. I was feeling pretty good at this summer job of mine in-between my semesters at college . . . that is until one day when I was asked to join others for lunch. The particular woman who did the asking happened to also be working temporarily there while she was separated from her husband who ran the Bacchus restaurant at that time. I should have recognized her arrogant attitude when she stated one time how she felt it was beneath her to live in one of the rooms for Mohonk employees (as if she wasn’t one of them?).
At this time of my life, I was still very gullible and naïve. That’s not unusual for someone unaware of being an aspie and/or even knowing such a thing existed. Anyhow, this group of women came across to me as wanting to be my friends. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary back then to me. Now however in hindsight, I should have been suspicious. People seeking after me for friendship was not normal, even though I’ve been repeated told I’m too nice (now I’m told I’m the one who is not friendly, oh well 
). Probably what I’m saying here isn’t too nice either and many would say it’s socially incorrect to provide details, but then I say people should be careful then how they act because I feel it’s important to create awareness for the protection of others who might fall into the same trap.
Lunch time arrives. Everyone else in this clique had already gone to the cafeteria. As I walked into the employee’s eating area, I happily noticed an empty seat saved for me at the table. As soon as I sat down with my tray, everyone else at the table started covertly laughing and got up to go to another table. I sat there alone; stunned over what just happened.
Many times throughout my life, I was at the receiving end of being played as a fool. I couldn’t understand why people were so mean to me. I made it my life-long mission to learn why. God has been so gracious as to not only show me why, but He also made sure I was taught in the right order so I could gain a complete understanding that would surpass most people’s comprehension. This is why I warn other aspies to beware of trusting people. It is much better to be alone and safe from humiliation than to hurt because of needing people.
