It figures — when I finally gain enough confidence to approach strangers, I do something to hinder my confidence! It was the second time in my life today that I boldly drew attention to myself by waving to a stranger who didn’t wave to me first. How did that happen? Let me tell you . . .
Late this morning, I thought I saw someone (an adorable male friend who once wanted to marry me) I knew from decades ago, about to exit his truck that he recently parked in a parking lot. I waited for him to get out and start walking in my direction. As soon as I knew he would see me, I waved and smiled. He looked a bit puzzled and kept walking closer. When he got close enough to hear me, I excitingly said “Hi.” Then a moment later I said, “You’re not Bob Coddington . . 
. . are you?” He replied, “No.” Luckily he didn’t seem to be too upset.
Before my mother passed away, I remember her telling me that I passed by her on a sidewalk and I didn’t even recognize her — even though we both made eye contact! I don’t know why I looked at her face then, because that wasn’t something I’d normally do when passing by a stranger on the street. In hindsight, now I know it was because that was my Mom!
Once, when my husband shaved off his beard (but kept his mustache), I had NO CLUE who he was when he flirted with me. He knew I had no idea who he was and he was having a blast fooling me. Even when he told me that he was my husband, I still didn’t believe him. I should have known it was him given the fact that I was in his parent’s house and so was he. It took the other family members to convince me that it really was him. I was shocked that I didn’t know who he was. I never had anyone (at least that I knew of) mess around with my mind like that before.
Another time, I embarrassed myself (again) by talking with someone I should have known, but had no clue where I saw her before (even though I knew I saw her before). Before you say that’s not uncommon, let me tell you I even gave this woman a baby shower gift because I saw her at church regularly for at least one year (just months previously) and spoke with her frequently. During that episode, she was an hour’s drive away from where I normally saw her, in an environment where I never saw her before (a shopping mall).
Another example: I had two half-sisters I knew for four decades. I even saw one of them once or twice afterwards. My daughter had sent me pictures of them recently. I had NO CLUE who either of them were (because of the changes in weight and age? . . . since their hairstyles were the same.)!
I never knew (but I did suspect) that other people could recognize faces a lot better than I could. Since I learned that it’s not uncommon for people with Asperger’s Syndrome to not be able to know who someone is when s/he isn’t in the same place as usually seen and/or changes in appearance by doing something as simple as getting a hair cut, I then began to become aware of how huge the difference is for me to recognize a person versus how much better neurotypicals are at it.
Very few people even know that such a thing as prosopagnosia (face blindness) even exists. It’s new knowledge that this is common among people with Asperger’s Syndrome.
What a dilemma — it’s socially incorrect to talk about your health issues (people mistakenly think Asperger’s Syndrome is a health issue) and it’s socially incorrect to not recognize people who you often see. So what’s the solution then for those of us who have prosopagnosia? If that’s not challenging enough, try to explain why someone with prosopagnosia can almost always recognize a face if it’s on television and/or in movies, but cannot do so in real life if some particular change happens!? I have theory for that. It is because people on film are not stressful, but with the people in real life there can be stressful memories attached. I personally believe that any stressful situation which can be associated with a person can pollute an aspie’s highly sensitive cognitive function, thereby triggering the potential for prosopagnosia with anyone in that group. Someone on film (who is never met in real life) is emotionally safe and most likely will have a face that isn’t ever blinded in the aspie mind.
This oddity may also explain why it is that I rarely see people I recognize in my dreams and why I even rarely experience people being in my dreams.
