How appropriate it is for me to now comment upon the so-called Aspie characteristic, “Lacking in the ability to relax from activities.” I’ve been away from most of my usual activities for almost a whole week. It should be made clear that this was by choice and not because of something that happened to me.
I don’t know how such a vague characteristic can receive sincere credibility no matter what syndrome a person falls into. By the way, no human being in existence doesn’t fit into some category of a syndrome. The difference is not every syndrome gets equal attention because there isn’t a good market for its industry.
Again we have a relative word being used — relax. What’s the opposite of being relaxed? It’s to tense up. If someone is usually an intense person, then naturally he’s going to be intense all of the time. Being intense is not the same thing as being tense. People who are less intense lack in the ability to understand this difference, so what do they do? They judge others as lacking the ability to relax from being active. Why? Because they also lack the ability to discern when they’re projecting themselves into others. People do it all the time. A good example can be seen by looking at all the unnecessary doggy paraphernalia that exists. I think one of the biggest reasons people are irritated by others who think and behave differently is because it triggers fear. Fear of what? Exposing what could possibly be humiliating.
Instead of respecting people who relax in an intense style, what usually happens stems from jealousy. Since intensity often suggests a strength or concentration that arises from inner dispositions and is particularly appropriate for describing emotional states, it’s perceived as being inappropriate behavior for times when not engaged in an activity. Watching a movie isn’t an activity because the audience is passive. People are like wet dish rags when they’re passive. All they can do is react to their environment during these times. Then along comes an Aspie from Aspergazstan where most Aspergians live at another altitude. Yes, we relax during recreation and/or entertainment. But, we don’t do it the same way as most in the NT society do. Because Aspergians basically lack an off button, they tend to never escape activities since everything in life is one huge ongoing activity . . . even sleeping! The Aspie mind is usually like the Eveready Bunny that just keeps going and going and going. Like anything else in life, if you don’t learn how to use what you have, what you have can slowly kill you. This is especially true if others try to make you believe you shouldn’t be like how you are.
The key element to relaxing is rest. If the change in routine results in rest, then to lax again is the result. If people are willing to not judge sharks for their different ways they achieve rest, then they should be equally willing to accept the fact that not everyone recharges their personal batteries the same way. I could easily laugh over the way most people choose to take a break from their regular activities and am glad I would never be forced to follow their pattern. For example, people often take trips to Disneyland or go on cruises for a holiday. Maybe they might take guided tours of a new country or one of a winery. Whatever it is, it seems to often end up becoming a programmed activity. To me, it seems stressful to be stuck having to follow an itinerary. What if curiosity leads one to impulsively take a detour, especially if it’s an opportunity that might never present itself again? Having time-out from regular routines might lead to absolute nothing visible happening, but who can judge what’s going on inside another person’s mind?
For all I know, many who read this could be thinking I’m reading too much into the statement, “Lacking in the ability to relax from activities.” Pardon moi, but I take offense whenever the word lacking is connected with ability and wrongly implies a characteristic needs fixing when it’s not broken and works fine where it’s at.
