Very verbal, blunt — alleged characteristics of Aspergers.
I know I can be very verbal (more likely in writing than audibly), but I’m never blunt. However, I can be candid. Here’s the problem: If I try to express myself in a brief manner (like most others do online), I will most likely be perceived as being rude because my straightforwardness will be misinterpreted as bluntness. If I try to avoid being frank, then I end up being incessantly verbose. If that’s not frustrating enough, add to that trying to figure out if something said will be perceived as being blunt or as being forthright.
What’s the difference between being blunt versus being candid? Being blunt is insensitive because the motive is selfish and uncaring (usually because of pride and/or arrogance). Being candid is sensitive because the motive is to be kind and caring (thanks to humility¹).
The antonym of candid is indirect. ‘Indirect’ is also the antonym of blunt. So then does this mean that being indirect is polite? Or is being indirect rude? Society tells its members that being indirect is what is socially correct. Here is the question:
If someone cannot get the hint, who is the rude person: the one who can’t figure out the answer or the one who is being indirect?
Unless I’m mistaken, the impression I get from most people is that they are so terrified of being perceived as rude if they’re directly honest, that they’d rather be indirect or not say anything at all. This then leaves the other person having to work long (as in maybe years or even decades) and hard to ‘get it’ because others are more concerned about their own image.
Disingenuous — not candid or sincere, especially in feigning ignorance; this is socially popular. Ingenuous — innocent, candid, lacking craft or subtlety, natural; this is socially unpopular.
Rephrased question from above:
Is it now considered rude in today’s society to expect someone to be candid to a person who is ingenuous?
I’m going to be candid now, so please don’t twist this as being blunt: I believe people do not like a person who displays an ingenuously child-like simplicity, because that makes someone who is disingenuous uncomfortably guilty . . . especially in situations like being at a party. Being disingenuous has become socially acceptable behavior because enough of a majority of people have desensitized their consciences so that today’s moral standards have decayed sufficiently for it to now be tolerated.
Just because more and more people are heading in the wrong direction does this then mean that those who refuse to follow the crowd jumping off the bridge need to get “cured” to spare the rest from humiliation?
¹Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.
