I sincerely appreciate all the encouragement my readers give! The more I get, the more I have to give back and will gladly do so.
It’s said we Aspergians have difficulty accepting compliments. If and/or when that might be true, most likely it’s because we have difficulty detecting what the complimenter is really up to. Why can’t the NT world accept and/or understand that Aspergians think differently?! It takes us Aspies time, work, effort, and experience to learn that a social game is even going on — let alone knowing what it is.¹ Regardless of all that, we can eventually ‘get it‘ but, . . . we probably don’t want to play. It’s energy draining, especially if it’s expected of us to keep up the act for a prolonged period of time.
Unless an Aspergian gets brainwashed at an early age and/or is forced into it, he most likely will give a compliment without any ulterior motive. The NT culture differs from an Aspergian one in that NTs thrive on wearing whatever virtual make-up can make them look more attractive. Because there are enough people abusing the use of compliments, it’s accepted as being natural. What’s really natural is what you hear little children (like toddlers) say.
Everyone likes to be liked. Problems however will come about when a clash exists between the way different people go about exchanging niceties. Most Aspergians have at least average intelligence and many go well beyond the average, so when we’re suspicious of a compliment and our suspicions turn out to be valid, we’re highly insulted. Hopefully there are enough people with brains around to realize we Aspies going to go in the other direction when such things happen. It goes against our nature to overlook something that isn’t functional. Flattery may work among NTs for them to get what they want, but it does so at the cost of creating dysfunctional relationships.
When and/or if we accept compliments with ease, then we will be accused of being naïve. We’re never going to be who we’re not. Think about this: As willing and able an NT may be to change his behavior by taking off his mask and keeping it off at all times, that is how willing and able an Aspergian is to put on a mask and wear it out in public.
¹Social role playing is illogical and destructive to individuals and society in the long run. Typical people grow up practicing this craft so automatically that they’re not even aware of how much they do it by the time they reach adulthood.
[Edit on April 12, 2008 — I greatly appreciate all the encouragement I've received. However, since I'm disabling commenting, I shall try and make do with all of the positive feedback I've received so far. Thank you everyone for your kind words.]
