My next exposé on yet another ’symptom’ and characteristic of Aspergers:
Difficulty with constant anxiety, worried about performance and being accepted, despite commendation and special recognition.
Again, it depends. The most obvious factor which will determine if someone struggles with this issue is what his parents are like. After them, it’s the influence of: siblings, relatives, the family’s friends, teachers, peers, etc.
I will borrow a quote (sorry, I don’t know who wrote it) which is off the topic a little, but it should help with this explanation:
“Not every autistic person doesn’t want a cure. I’ve talked to a few that would want one. But the strange common factor between those people seems to be that they’ve all suffered a great deal of prejudice, and been told that their autistic traits are bad and wrong and if only they were normal… As a result they seem not to have been taught how to use their autistic traits, but rather to suppress them and try to do things the “normal” way.They’ve got a right to say what they say. It’s just that I think if they were accepted and helped to learn instead of pitied and “trained” to be normal, they would be a lot happier, and it wouldn’t matter so much that there isn’t a cure. Maybe they would still want one; but they’d be happier and they wouldn’t seem to spend their days wishing that they could be normal…I think in a world where autistic people were accepted and educated properly, most autistic people wouldn’t want a cure; and those who did, could still be happy without one.”
Now I’ll add an example of a person who displayed this ’symptom’ and characteristic of Aspergers:
There was an Aspie student in a public speaking class who gave her speech on the topic of Aspergers. Even though she received an A- for it, she was highly upset over not getting an A+.
When people judge a person based on what they witness without knowing the other factors that enter into the equation, they don’t understand why someone doesn’t behave like they would if they were in that same situation. Now I’ll give a couple of examples from my own life of such factors:
Last night I went out for dinner with my husband (don’t judge — going out on a date with him now is a novel experience because it’s something we didn’t even do before we got married 2 decades ago!). After eating, the waitress asked if we would like dessert. My husband requested a cheesecake, along with a cup of coffee. When the waitress looked at me, I told her I didn’t want anything other than just a cup of coffee. (My husband said I spoke politely and audibly clear enough to be heard.)
She came back to our table with one cup of coffee and a slice of cheesecake. They both were placed in front of my husband. She didn’t even look at me. That’s another fine example of the autistic superpower of being invisible!
Last summer, as I was visiting a neighbor while she was having a yard sale, I was chatting with another neighbor who came to visit. We were talking casually about careers.¹ All seemed to be going along fine, so when she blurted out, “Your husband must be a saint to be married to you,” I became speechless from shock!
Need I say more for others to get my point I’m trying to express?
¹That ‘rude’ neighbor (a secretary) was disturbed over my refusal (an assumption on her part) to get a ‘job’ (her judgment of me). I feel honored to be a homemaker (retired homeschooler) for the glory of God.
