What I simply cannot understand, nor ever will, is why people don’t communicate messages the way they should be expressed. Children are told things straightforward, so why not do the same with all people?
Usually Asperger people are up front, but now I see that they too can trash this blessed quality. When I invite a person to visit for becoming acquainted, I get the impression she’d love to stop over. She does seem to act grateful for the friendly¹ gesture, but is that any reliable indicator? Apparently not quite so, nor ever can it be for Aspies like me.
It’s evident most people are too busy to visit. That’s fine. However, it is completely illogical for people, who are too busy to accommodate newcomers into their lives, to NOT mention that they are too busy to increase their social circle. There is nothing offensive about telling someone, who is extending an invitation, that her social life is too full for adding another person into it.
I get blamed for being rude because I don’t see that the invited guest has no intentions of visiting. I’m not rude anymore, because I now learned how to adapt into this world full of unreasonable² people.
My question is, “What are people like me supposed to do then? Believe what people say or not believe what people say?” I ask this question not to get an answer, but rather to get people to think about their inconsistencies between what they say verses what they do.
I know most people would love to tell me that my problem is I shouldn’t take what others say literally. I will always stand by my conviction that idle³ talk is wrong. Words reflect a person’s reputation. What someone says is a reflection of who they are. If they value what’s popular and acceptable by society more than what’s right and acceptable by God, then that person’s integrity is questionable.
“But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.” — Matthew 12:36
If what I’m saying in this post angers you, then that indicates insufficient thought is at your end. When others don’t care enough to speak candidly, then they are possibly robbing an Aspie of her time. I have always tried to make an effort to be understood correctly by others. If that can’t be appreciated, then I must have some screws loose if I keep investing of myself into those who display no evidence of wanting to meet me half-way.
I might sound angry, but I’m really not. I’m just expressing something shameful. That’s all. Maybe by some miracle, my sharing this bit of information might actually be useful to someone. Truthful words, spoken by the motive of love for other Aspies, do not make idle talk. If my message is useless, it’s only because its words have fallen on deaf ears.
We will all eventually be accountable for what we say or don’t say. We are not responsible for what others do with the words we speak. Nor are people (most Aspies for example) responsible for what others don’t say, especially if they’re unable to ‘receive’ a message that remains concealed to them.
¹I’ve read that friendliness is often mistaken for friendship by Asperger people. Now I understand why. What protects me from making this mistake anymore is knowing the difference between what most people label as friendliness verses what I call friendliness. My definition of it is no where near as liberal and/or quickly dispensed upon a person. It must be that way for me, because I cannot be friendly towards someone I cannot sincerely respect. Jesus behaved the same way. He never was friendly towards pretentious people.
²Inconsistent with reason or logic or good sense.
³Idle: vain; fruitless; lacking substance or worth; futile; barren; useless.
