Yesterday, my husband and I went out to eat for our 20th anniversary of marriage. No, the chief wasn’t burning anything in the kitchen. The thing being left on the burner too long is me and, if I don’t get off the stove, I’m going to become a crispy critter.
Little did I realize how much our trip to this restaurant was going to open up my awareness to some realities that have been slowly penetrating my thick skull. Well, now that I’m becoming acquainted with the Asperger aspects of my being, the dots are finally connecting into a visible picture I’ve never been able to see before.
I’ve known for quite some time how important diet and relaxation is. I even mentioned in my post yesterday that some Asperger Syndrome people seem to slip through the burnout crack. Well, not getting any sleep sure isn’t going to help an Aspie avoid becoming fried and I did not sleep one wink last night. That’s okay because, I know with my knowledge of Aspergers (that began 1 year and 4 months ago), along with going back to my daily organic diet (that began 4 years and 4 months ago) and daily diet of scripture study (that began 28 years ago), I can¹ finally plug up this life-long epinephrine flow.
I’ll now mention some of the things that provoked my adrenal glands into kicking up my exhaustion level, which already began heading in the wrong direction since I’ve been spending less time meeting my spiritual and physical needs. The time I used to spend devoting myself to my relationship with my Heavenly Father (and wholesome eating) has managed to shift towards learning all I can about Aspergers (from books, the internet, conferences, videos, conversations, observations, etc.) and then sharing what I learn with others (online and offline).
While I was at this restaurant, I was conscious of the sensory input overloading my body. The way it was lit inside (no florescent lights, but rather tiny halogen bulbs here and there, along with typical miniature neon signs that restaurant/bars have, did not mix well with the dark interior and bright outdoor light coming in through the few windows) was irritating my nerves because my eyes were very uncomfortable. The smell of the food cooking was actually nauseating. The crowd of people (you probably wouldn’t call it a crowd) coming and going was impossible for me to ignore. The worst aspect of being there was the noise (obviously others there could tune it out) from all the chattering (no music was playing). I was so overwhelmed by the shock of being in an environment I’m not used to, that I made stupid decisions on top of everything else. I forgot that white wine makes me ill,² but was quickly reminded when I began to take some sips. I forgot that spicy food triggers hot outcomes. I also forgot that I actually have to drink wine with shrimp or else I’ll have an allergic reaction to seafood.
After eating, I was reminded of my autistic superpower of being invisible (previously mentioned in What’s Recognized?):
“After eating, the waitress asked if we would like dessert. My husband requested a cheesecake, along with a cup of coffee. When the waitress looked at me, I told her I didn’t want anything other than just a cup of coffee. (My husband said I spoke politely and audibly clear enough to be heard.) She came back to our table with one cup of coffee and a slice of cheesecake. They both were placed in front of my husband. She didn’t even look at me.”
What a dessert being invisible is, when added to all the other coarse ingredients of going out to eat!
Yes, it’s time for me to change my diet and value relaxation. I need to get back into the kind of routine I had before discovering Aspergers at the beginning of last year. Everyone needs wholesome food; both the spiritual kind and physical. I was doing good in those areas until this fascination with the missing piece of Aspergers to solve the puzzle of my life came along. I’m not complaining about Aspergers or about my learning. I love both. So now for me to combine the two other ingredients I’ve been neglecting — a good diet and quality time with God (relaxation = meditating on God’s word³) — will permit this eccentric to slip through the burnout crack and come out feeling good rather than burnt. Only God knows when that will happen, because He is the one working through me (Philippians 2:13). That’s good enough for me. All I need to know is that I’m going in the right direction. That’s why I can ignore how tired I feel right now.
¹Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
²When I was younger, I could endure self-destructive behavior. There was so much of it that I became hyposensitive towards it. Now I’m actually thankful to be hypersensitive. I need to be, so I can survive and protect myself.
³Isaiah 26:3, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”
