I think, therefore I say, such things like I’m not going to write about Aspergers again. Then, low and behold, new thoughts override the old. This morning, two things came to mind→ 1.) Expound on the concept fickle, because it is misunderstood. 2.) Explain what my life was like before knowing about Aspergers Syndrome, because maybe that might help to curb anger if (and/or when?) a deeper knowledge about it were to be exposed to the public in the future.
I’ve had it negatively drummed into me throughout my life how fickle I am. It is a mistake to say my character¹ is fickle. It would be honest to say the aspects related to my creative endeavors and my transient (albeit still passionate) interests are fickle. That’s why this blog is unique from all the other ones I began throughout the years—this one is still here!
People should always remember what the writers and artists, who end up being admired as geniuses instead of primarily known as kooks, go through before they accomplish what they do. [Please, don't now assume I'm claiming to fit into their category!] They threw out countless amounts of work started and did not want to be observed during their periods of production. Many of them were liable to sudden unpredictable change.
To always resent fickleness in everybody would be to expect great things without also accepting what might be incomprehensible. Proof that people do not want to accept what they cannot understand is displayed more everyday by such things as the ever increasing marketing success rate of the pharmaceutical industry and the way social services (like most government schools, police stations, etc.) function. I’m not saying all drugs created by psychopharmecologists are always bad. I am saying prescribed drugs are abused a lot more than what people want to admit. It’s the bed modern society has made and now sleeps in. Being weaned from meds is not like being weaned from mother’s milk. The later has a 100% success rate. The former does not.
Enough said about fickleness and how neurotypicals usually handle what’s incomprehensible. Now about my life before Asperger awareness:
Outwardly to most people nothing would appear much different about me, aside from my finally gaining confidence and contentment. Unfortunately, only I can know how radically I’ve changed after learning about this complex of concurrent things, among a particular group of people like myself, that came to be known as Asperger syndrome.
Before knowing about AS, the thought never entered my mind that God designed two different types of brains (neurotypical and neuro-A-typical). All I knew was that there was something different about me compared to others and no one could explain it when I questioned them. I wouldn’t have even known that if it wasn’t for the fact I could see my life (especially the parts which involve social skills) was not going the way most others do. Heck, no one would even inform me that I appeared to them as being an odd character! My husband took longer than two decades before he finally decided to let me know that’s what he thought when he first knew me! The only feedback my daughter gave me before she knew about, and came to understand, Aspergers was that (in her perception) I was unfriendly to acquaintances and ditsy.² Before marriage and having children, I grew up hearing complaints like: “Why can’t you be like so-and-so?!”, “What’s the matter with you?!”, “Why must you analyze things so much?!”, “You’re so gullible!”, etc. Those were the things I heard. Only recently am I now hearing what gets said and has been said behind my back.
My lacking awareness of Aspergers caused my life to be hell! I was like a solitary lamb forced to live in a wilderness filled with packs of self-centered wolves; none with any desire to nurture who I am. Not everyone was out to intentionally destroy me, but most were out to change me. Those who accepted me as I was, usually did so to their advantage. Maybe there were a few moments of time in my life when a rare person appreciated me just the way I was, but if so, it’s too late anymore for me to know about it. Now I’ll say something which might make what I’ve said sound confusing. Even though I had to live almost all of my life believing destructive lies about myself because of ignorant people who thought they knew how I should live my life better than I did, I am immeasurably thankful that Aspergers was unheard of until recently. Why? Because I know what my parents were like. [Edit (as seen within the right-shifted margin) done the day after this was posted:]
My mother would have wanted to believe that Aspergers is a form of High Functioning Autism rather than accepting the position of Aspergers not belonging on the Autism Spectrum. How can I say that? Because I know she would have liked to believe in a ‘cure’ so I wouldn’t be such a peculiar child she felt periodic embarrassment and confusion over. I’m not saying I think there is a cure for Autism and/or that Auties need to be ‘fixed’ so they conform better into society.
It is too easy for mothers, and/or those with a career in human services, to claim Aspergers as being a form of Autism. I no longer wish to comment one way or the other about what Jenny McCarthy has done for her son Evan. Decisions about children should be left with their correctly informed parents to decide what’s best. Decisions about autistic adults should be left up to the those individuals→ Neurotypical society should not decide, but rather listen and respect what they have to say.
I would not have minded dietary changes, but I would not have cooperated with Applied Behavioral Analysis if I knew back then what I know now. ABA may work with Autistic children and it might appear beneficial for Aspie kids. However, I personally feel ABA is not the answer for Aspies. The solution for Aspergers is to educate society about it. Aspergers is evident in past lives, presently exists, and will continue to exist. The only way Aspergers will go away is if Aspies are murdered before or after being born.
Children comply with therapy because they want to please their parents and don’t like being bullied for being different. The young are also naïve and have not lived long enough to know and understand this world. This is why it is crucial that parents love their children the way they are, learn to accept what will never change, and only change what they know can and needs to be changed. It’s not always the child who needs help. The bigger child just might be society with its temper tantrums of wanting all members to be the way they want them to be.
Students in public schools are made to graduate like sardines in a can—all lined up neatly alike; not to transform the world, but rather conform to the world. If that wasn’t true, then it would not be socially incorrect for students (or clients) to sometimes teach the teachers (or psychologists) something they don’t want to learn. Rarely do people stop to think about the consequences of what society (the political arena) deems as being acceptable behavior, because their concern is on what other people will think about them if they do.³
¹Character defined as the inherent complex of attributes that determine a person’s moral and ethical actions and reactions.
²Dear daughter of mine—If you’re reading this and it upsets you, please forgive me. I don’t mean to make you look bad. You are my angel and I will let the world know that too! However, this information is necessary prep work if others are to be helped with understanding what you and I are planning to write in our book. If this is too straightforward for you, please let me know and I’ll remove it. However, if that ends up happening, then much of my insightful assistance will become smothered; thereby, weakening the impact needed.
³That explains why serious crimes get repeated while petty issues can be blown out of proportion.
