Self-pitying neurotypical anthropomorphites WILL make contented Aspies their personal project to fix, especially when they are “the Lion” and the Aspie is “the antelope”! [Stand back if the Aspie is also a lion rather than an antelope! That combination is deadly!] Why must these types of neurotypicals do that? Here are a few reasons:
- NTs are hyper-social animals and have a difficult time understanding and accepting a different social structure that’s more sedate. The Aspergian community is typically a highly sedate cultural environment and most NTs don’t like that. It’s too foreign to them.
- Projective identification causes NTs who hate the Aspies they know to mistakenly believe that these Aspies hate them, along with all the other NTs the discontented lioness is fond of. She will attack any Aspie whose behavior is beyond her comprehension, because she feels the urge to protect her pride of neurotypicals.
- Anthropomorphites (in the widest sense of this term) tend to conceive the activities of the external world (Aspies are an external word to them) as being a counterpart of their own. NTs see Aspies as being fellow human beings, so therefore they believe that Aspies should think, act, dress, move, talk, sleep, eat, breath, and feel sensory data like NTs do. The neurotypical culture refuses to nurture an inter-species respect with the Aspie counterpart society.
I expounded upon the hyper-sociableness of the NT culture when I used the analogy of NTs being pack animals like dogs and Aspies being an “independent” species like cats. If you haven’t read it, go to my post Cats, Dogs, and Aspergers.
Left out from my above list of reasons was the factor of self-images. Most people compare levels of self-esteem by labeling them as being either high or low. I feel that can be misleading, because people who have a “low self-esteem” actually esteem themselves too highly and this can cause some who feel “worth less” (i.e., inadequate) to be able to “hide” this part of themselves. This pride in disguise becomes evident when you see them trying to take other people ‘down a peg or two’. If they can belittle you, they seem bigger to themselves. They want you to “be little” so they can “be big”.¹
True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less. How can one with a “low self-esteem” be esteeming himself at a low level if he is always busy looking for faults in others to fix?
Self-pitying people think about themselves a lot. They are the ones who will be offended if their birthday is forgotten or they don’t receive the praise they believe they should get (e.g. “nice haircut”, “great shoes”, “delicious cake”, “beautiful house”, etc.). They want to be on the pedestal of fame to be admired and honored. The word ‘esteem’ means to ‘think much of’. Thinking much can be done at both high and low levels, so it is an oxymoron to use the term “low self-esteem”. A healthy self-esteem² reveals itself in people who live by the principle ‘to each his own’ and they are the only ones who can truly have the same kind of love towards others as what they have towards themselves.
All people naturally love themselves, but not all people like to hear that or believe it. Rare is the person who loves all others (even ‘enemies’ like so-called ‘homophobics’ and ‘conservative Republicans’) with the same kind of love that is held for self. Mankind can love those who are lovable (who and/or what matches their tastes and likings), but only those born from above have the nature to love who society feels are the ‘un-love-ables’. Adult aspies (for the most part) fall into the category of the ‘un-love-ables’. If this wasn’t so, Aspergers would not be labeled as a ‘disorder’ or ‘disease’ and society would be putting forth effort to become acquainted with Aspies and be friends with them (i.e., accept and respect Aspergers as much as neurotypicals are!).
Last, but not least, anthropomorphism needs greater mention. I’m going to quote what Mrs. Obvious says in her article Grooming Lessons from a Real Groomer: Pet Psychology and use it as an analogy for a role reversal exercise neurotypical people should practice in regard to how they perceive Aspies:
“Lets do a little role reversal. Think about how you would feel if your dog tried to treat you like a dog instead of a human. You come home and the dog sniffs you all over. (He probably does this already and is makes you uncomfortable, doesn’t it?) The dog makes you eat the same food every day in a bowl on the floor. The dog asks you to fetch the paper and pee outside. Doesn’t this sound foreign and crazy? Wouldn’t you feel awkward and out of place to have the dog making you do dog behavior because he wants to treat you the same as himself, a dog? It is the same when you superimpose human qualities and human rights on your dog. Your dog is not the same as you. When you give a dog human rights you are in denial of how a dog was made to function.”
Normally I place all links where extra information came from within my body of text in posts. This time one is at the end. I could especially relate to this writing because of the attitude I pick up from jealous oppressive people who resent that I don’t have a ‘job’ (they also resent that I don’t like to throw parties) and would also would like to say to me, “No, you HAVE to work.” It’s from yahoo’s collection of answers to the question, Do self-pitying people project their self-pity onto those they resent for being content?
¹My words chosen are the same as someone else’s by coincidence.
²God’s view on self-esteem:
Luke 16:15, “And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.”
Romans 12:3, “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.”→Why ‘measure of faith’? Because as faith increases, so does humility. Spiritual maturity means getting familiar with, “therefore but by the grace of God go I.”
