When I say ‘inexperienced experts’, I’m not talking about professionals who do not have years of experience with their career. Instead, I’m referring to ‘experts’ who have not lived a single day of their life being their subject of interest. If that’s not bad enough, add to that group, mothers which get involved and start publishing their speculations on the same topic. When it comes to Aspergers, I cringe at some of the things I read!
What I don’t understand is how ignorant so many experts can be over their own arrogance. The only explanation I can think for such behavior is pride. As for the moms who want to be helpful, my guess is they don’t notice how their desperation for answers swallowed them up over time and transformed many of them into another group of self-deluded experts.
The good news is, there really is a lot of data about Aspergers that is correct. The bad news is, the incorrect data camouflages itself to the point where those who are not Aspies most likely will not be able to sort out the mixture. Unfortunately, young Aspie children can be brainwashed into believing things that are not true. Once that happens, there is a good chance a self-fulfilling prophecy will emerge. The most damaging influence I see which can come from the minds of experts stems from their attitude of superiority. This could cost an Aspie most of his lifetime to undo; plus, create an unhealthy way of living almost impossible to break free from. For example, here is the end of a comment from a 38 year old Aspie woman (under the pseudonym cltncblondeeagle) that was published (and now is no longer available) in Jeneen Interlandi’s Newsweek article on More Than Just ‘Quirky’:
“My American dream is to marry, be employed and have children but I was talked out of it by a pyscharist and what was worse was that my own mother agreed with her. It took a WEEK for me to find the courage in myself to tell my own mother how much that hurt me. I have been through twenty five years of psychotherapy and I am now at I point I cant stand shrinks anymore because they try to become like a third parent to me. I hunger for love and acceptance but I feed it with food. I have been food addicted since childhood. I can’t state my true feelings or fear whatever I say will be turned around and made to make me like a bad person.”
At a website for Resources and Academic Programs for Children with Asperger’s Syndrome,¹ the article titled, Video Games for Kids with Asperger’s: Social Networking Tool or Dangerous Fixation?, is loaded with its own distortions. Because there are some children who fit the descriptions in that article, others then must suffer being misjudged and having their intelligence insulted. I won’t stray here into the lengthy details of explaining how this is so, but I will say much gets twisted because too little attention is paid to motivation. Aspie motivation is beyond the understanding of neurotypical experts because NTs lack the Theory of Mind necessary to comprehend what is going on in an Aspie’s mind.
An example of incomprehension coming from parents, on a website by parents for parents, is displayed in their article Equine Therapy for Asperger’s Kids. Here’s what is said in the bottom half of that article:
“Working with an animal such as a horse offers the child with AS a safe, non-judgmental and tolerant relationship in which to practice both verbal and non-verbal communication skills. Communication is power when a command such as “Giddyup!” or “Giddup!” makes the horse go and “Whoa!” or “Ho!” makes it stop.²
The Asperger’s child can also learn to recognize the impact of his own behavior on others while working with a horse. If he yells at a horse, the animal won’t come near him. If he speaks gently, it will.
During equine therapy, a licensed mental health professional will use the structured activity, whether feeding, grooming, haltering or even riding the horse to help the child to meet specific goals. The child may be asked to interpret how the animal is feeling by observing non-verbal cues, or to practice taking turns talking and listening while having a conversation with the therapist about the activity. He may join a group of other children at the stable to discuss various aspects of horsemanship, practicing communication skills and age-appropriate topics of conversation.”
If it was true that “the Asperger’s child can also learn to recognize the impact of his own behavior on others while working with a horse,” then I’d be very popular! The problem is not that I don’t know what impact I’m having on others. The problem is others don’t know what impact they are having one me! That being said, I need to add that even though I know what impact I’m having on others, I’m just now beginning to understand why I have the impacts I do. The main reason I’ve struggled for over half a century to understand this is because of the difference between the level of logic neurotypical people function upon versus the level which Aspies operate on; plus, NTs not being straightforward with their communication skills doesn’t help either. Horses, all animals, and very young children speak the Aspie language. That makes it impossible for Aspie children to understand NT social behavior from ‘equine therapy’.
Here is some more food for thought → Aspie girls, who love horses, are the ones who tend to experience this:
“A horse runs swiftly across a field in sunlight, the rider connecting to the horse as if they were one creature, and when they come to the fence, in one motion they seem to stretch forward in the same moment to sail over the fence, landing in a single graceful footfall, then springing away again. We all love such moments of beauty and connection, and wish we could have such oneness of being…”
If it cannot be seen how ridiculous some mental health professionals are in their thinking, then the entire Aspie culture will suffer the handicaps created by certain fools licensed to corrupt society. Think about what has been said so far and combine it with what is in bold text from the article Asperger Syndrome and Girls:
“According to Dr. Tony Attwood, a leading expert on Asperger Syndrome, Aspie boys often appear like “little professors” who are expert in one subject. However, Aspie girls are more like “little philosophers.” They may wonder if all people see the same color as blue, for instance, or analyze the meaning of the word “mind.” They often appear odd or cold, or seem to live in fantasy worlds. They may love animals, but in an obsessive way. For example, if an Aspie girl loves horses, she may want to spend every waking hour riding, grooming her horse, or even sleeping in the stable.”
I should know about Aspie girls who love horses, because I was one of them. I even pushed the envelope by riding my horse to school. Female Aspie horse lovers bond so tightly with their horses because they are hypersensitive to knowing animals by nature. Aspies and Auties can share the similar characteristic talent for deeper levels of communication with animals than what most NTs have. If this was not so, Temple Grandin would not have been able to write such a successful book as Animals in Translation. She also would not be the consultant to the livestock industry in animal behavior. Here is a quote about her extraordinary insights into the minds of animals:
“Her insight into the minds of cattle has taught her to value the changes in details to which animals are particularly sensitive, and to use her visualization skills to design thoughtful and humane animal-handling equipment.”
Here is another interesting tidbit taken from comparing Characteristics observed in Spiritual Masters with Characteristics of those with Aspergers:
“Greater emphathy with animals and nature than other human beings – eg St Francis of Assissi. Concerned with the planet and environment, not the trivialities of the personal lives of their students. This parallels Asperger behaviour.”
One last thing I should add, before wrong conclusions are made → Who you know speaks more loudly than what you know. Financial wealth is a huge determining factor behind who gets to know you. Money can improve your odds of what you get to know (although the internet does even the score quite a bit!), but the closer you are to being a genius without having something that others admit they need, the more likely it is that you’re not socially popular. Rarely does anyone want something from someone unpopular, even if it is great! Its the same principle as needing a car to get a job and needing a job to get a car. You need to be popular (or at least have a fantastic support network!) to get somewhere and you need to get somewhere in order to be popular.
People have wrongly assumed I’ve grown up with a Paris Hilton lifestyle based upon minute amounts of information selectively gathered. Even I have wrongly judged my own self throughout most of my life, but thank God for opportunities to straighten things out!
¹Who can deny Aspergers has been made into an industry out on the market in today’s society? Books are being sold, programs are being granted, therapists are grazing off the field, organizations are tapping into the funding pipeline, etc.
²I never ‘practiced’ such verbal communication skills as “Giddyup!” or “Whoa!” while horseback riding. It was as if the communication already existed and practice was not needed. I also excelled in my ability to connect with my horse as if we were one creature when we sailed over fences equal to my height (I’m 5’6″). That’s far from the record of 8’3½”! In fact, during the competitive sport of blindfold jumping (through chutes set up in an indoor riding arena), I always outperformed the rest of the riders. In spite of that, my Aspieness caused me to always be the last person selected to join a team. How therapeutic is that?! To me, what was communicated was how snobby people can be.
