Could anyone be so ridiculous as to believe there is no other side to a fence they’re looking at? Well, actually that might be the case for little children looking at a tall fence made of boards so tightly next to each other that they can’t see through it.
Knowledge is not something people are born with. It’s something that must be acquired through learning. Another thing humans are born with is a self-centered perspective. That combination is what makes knowing reality one of the most challenging tasks for mankind.
Take for example a very young child riding in a car during the night when the moon is in full view. If he hasn’t learned enough about earth science yet, he is going to think the moon is following the car. Trees and houses pass by as the car is in motion, but the moon stays in place. Something is going to have to fill that void in his mind to explain what’s going on, so he will devise his own perception of reality.
Here’s another example: It takes a one-sided fence perspective to believe that Christopher McCandless displayed selfish behavior in the movie “Into the Wild.” Why would Christopher write in his book
“Happiness only real when shared”
if he was selfish? Some people never experience the other side of tall tight-wooded fences if they can’t see all the empathy and compassion shown by ‘Alexander Supertramp’ in that movie.
I’m a mother and grandmother (AND an Aspie!) who knows fences have two sides. I’ve also been a daughter (my parents are deceased). If I was the mother of Christopher McCandless in “Into the Wild,” Christopher would have known he had my blessings for whatever he chose to do with his life as an adult, especially when he made the sacrifices he did to graduate college with the grades he had! Of course I’d be in deep grief over the loss of a child, but I’d have peace knowing that my child got to live his life his way (as in that movie; not as someone like Jeffery Dahmer).¹
Children are not born FOR their parents. Loving your child means sharing his happiness. It does not mean he needs to conform to what will make the parent happy; nor does it mean spoiling your child by allowing him to do whatever he wants.
Everyone should learn how to walk balanced on top of a fence, because all fences have two sides. When you’re on top, you can see things from both perspectives.
Christopher McCandless displayed traits of Aspergers² in “Into the Wild.” That could be why he was hypersensitive to judgment and control:
“Society, man! You know, society! Cause, you know what I don’t understand? I don’t understand why people,³ why every f**king person is so bad to each other so f**king often. It doesn’t make sense to me. Judgment. Control. All that, the whole spectrum. Well, it just…”
I did say (on April 2nd) my interest in the debatable subject of autism and Aspergers is decreasing, but what I’m realizing is→ as long as I’m living in this racist society that (for the most part) refuses to honor neurodiversity, I shall be shunned for ‘just being myself’. Unless some major attitude changes occur, every Aspie will be judged wrongly. The only time that might not happen is if the judgmental NT gets on top of the fence and learns s/he has no more of a right to judge than the Aspie on the other side. Without that humbling experience, society will always be trying to control the way it thinks Aspies should behave.
My life isn’t anywhere near as bad as it was before I became aware of why people are prejudice against me. They haven’t changed. I changed because I got truthful answers. The most vital answers were not voluntarily given to me. I had to dig them out like a miner going after diamonds underground. If people thought I was strange before, now they really think I’m odd because they can’t understand how I can find life so sparklingly beautiful even though I still don’t blend in socially.
I find it humorously ironic when I’m sought after due to my consistent sincerity only to have the pursuit of getting acquainted end because it exposes the other person’s hypocrisy. Genuineness is attractive, but rarely is it reciprocated. It has become socially correct to ‘dumb down’ everything. As long as that includes integrity, neurodiversity will never be honored.
I wish I could forget about Aspergers, put it behind me, and never write about it again. That’s why I say, “Shame on those who spit on Asperger traits!”
¹[Edit added on 4.14.9: After thinking more deeply about some of the things I've said here, I feel I should emphasize that my opinions about Christopher McCandless and how I'd be if I was his mother are "Into the Wild" speculations (not to be taken too seriously). The main point I wanted to emphasize is how a one-sided fence leads to judgment and control.]
²Not only were these traits evident in the movie, if you read enough about his real-life character, maybe you’ll notice them. He most likely would have inherited AS from his father Walt McCandless, but without having as much detailed information about Walt, it’s harder to say.
³“…parents, hypocrites, politicians, pricks.” said Christopher.
