After writing yesterday’s post on the topic of remarriage, I got to thinking more about marriage. Even though I said I believe Christian marriages shouldn’t be ‘validated’ by a state marriage license, I didn’t point out the aspects which cause that ideal to be confusing. Last night, I got reminded of one huge dilemma about keeping the government out of personal commitments.
I asked my husband’s friend why he never proposed to his girlfriend (who eventually left him). His words were, “I don’t want to give half of what I have to someone else.” Now when I reflect on the way I heard him say that, I am thankful my husband had enough trust in me when we were married to say, “…and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.” My husband now realizes I was trusting him when I gave him my life. Worldly goods can be replaced, but the years of your life cannot.
Less and less women are willing to unconditionally surrender 100% of their future to a man and vice versa. As trust in God decreases,¹ society substitutes it with things like insurance plans and pre-nuptial agreements. If people think it’s crazy to live confidently in what God says, they have no idea how much more insane it is to attempt controlling the uncontrollable and/or predict the unpredictable.
If I was able to know in advance the details of what uncontrollable experiences I’d be facing when I got married, I wouldn’t be who I am today. If we live to avoid tribulations, we cannot grow. Bad times don’t guarantee becoming a better person, but if you “know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” [Romans 8:28], then you’ve got hope.
For a married woman, loving God means trusting and obeying Him by being submissive to her husband’s authority as the head of the household. As long as my husband wouldn’t request me to do something against God’s will, I have no problem with being obedient to him. He is not God, but he is one of my tests of faith.
Before governments became like gods and couples married by signing their names in the family bible in front of witnesses, without obtaining a state license to do so, were they “shacking up” and was the man “getting the milk free without buying the cow?”
One big difference between the time when America began and now is integrity. It was once shameful to be known as a person whose words didn’t match his actions. Now people think everyone lies. When you use that as an excuse for being dishonest, then of course remaining true to your word will become devalued.
If someone’s word isn’t good enough without it being on paper, then how can a piece of paper improve it? Legal papers (like licenses) put more money in greedy pockets. When it comes to tying the knot, only God is able to see all the loopholes.
¹“My will be done” replaces the out-of-fashion “God’s will be done.”
