Why is the television show Desperate Housewives referred to as America’s favorite guilty pleasure? I couldn’t figure out why the word guilt is associated with someone deriving pleasure from watching this show. I also found it odd that people I’ve asked if they watch Desperate Housewives would deny doing so; plus, when I would tell my husband’s friends that he watches this series, they could hardly believe it. Finally, I had to ask my NT daughter her opinion on this oddity. She had to explain to me why viewers are reluctant to admit watching something like this to me.
I forget that people don’t do things for the same reason I do. What I have in common with neurotypicals who watch Desperate Housewives is that we both find it entertaining, but apparently that’s where the similarity ends.
When I’m viewing this program, I’m studying the behavior of the characters and analyzing why they do what they do. Even though it’s fictitious, the characteristics of human nature displayed by the actors are real. To complicate things, I’m not only observing this series through the socially naïve eyes of Aspergers, I’m also seeing it in a child-like manner due to having a Christian nature.
I was informed that most neurotypicals enjoy observing the behavior of Desperate Housewives characters. It gives them new ideas to absorb into their lives — hence, the term ‘guilty’ pleasure. All that matters to most NTs is what works; the ‘why’ is irrelevant.
Even though I’m different neurologically, I still have the same human nature as anyone else. I’m capable of feeling things like envy, jealousy, greed, vindictiveness, self-pity, etc. What I’m slowly learning though is how big the gap is between those who are saved versus not saved.
Usually, whenever I sense an ugly sinful attitude creeping in, God applies stressful pressure upon my spirit to cause me to eventually let go of that unhealthy condition. Sometimes He uses outside influences to help (often times it’s in the form of Godly advice from my sister-in-Christ daughter).
On the flip side, those who are not saved, lack a desire for correction; whether it be from self-examination or from a friend. That explains why almost no one really wants to hear the truth when it comes to his or her own self.
However, it is socially acceptable for a friend to appear as if she is giving loving correction provided that it remains vague (unless it’s being directed to a Christian). I’ve been taught that it’s taboo to cross certain boundaries (I’ll never comprehend them because it’s not how I think).
What Desperate Housewives is teaching me is that worldly friends (and relatives) are always preconsciously playing roles. If someone was to force a person into the light (i.e., out of his perception of reality) — thereby pulling off his or her mask — that would be labeled as a disorder. That explains why psychology is more popular than what God says in the Bible and why the words disease (e.g., kleptomania, alcoholism, gambling addiction, etc.) and alternative lifestyle (e.g., homo sexuality) have replaced the unacceptable word sin that pierces through the embryonic preconscious stage of living.¹
Today, it’s all about getting rid of that nasty image of guilt that tarnishes one’s self-esteem. The New Age has arrived to save those of the world from guilt because it doesn’t want Christ. Humanistic psychology has arrived to save the world from Aspies by attaching the label disorder to Aspergers. Aspies are too straightforward, logical, and honest, for the direction that society wishes to travel.
It’s been explained to me why eating luxuriously is a guilty pleasure that’s socially acceptable to discuss. Talking about recipes, cooking shows, restaurants, etc., is welcomed, but yet it’s not okay to ask personal questions like why someone has done (or not done) something (especially if it exposes something s/he is guilty of doing).
Socializing is like a sporting event. Each competes to go up to the limits of discussion without breaking the hidden rules of communication. It’s okay to talk about what the characters of a fictitious television show are doing, but it’s gossip if the talk is about a non-fictional character.
What was once shameful is ever decreasing because of desensitizing society. It happens by such things as constantly exposing shoppers waiting at the checkout counter to publications about the latest gossip on celebrities. The next step is to popularize T-shirts like, “I’m an Edie” or “I’m a Susan.” Once that fad has made it in, the next step is to be proud of plotting personal schemes. It’s like saying “I was only joking” when you’re trying to see what boundaries another person has so that you can learn what you’re able to get away with doing. Little-by-little, step-by-step, society’s hidden rules of communication slowly get twisted into deeper decadency and become increasingly self-delusional.
One last note:
Men have a harder time than women to understand why Desperate Housewives is referred to as being a guilty pleasure. It makes sense then why an Aspie would too, since it’s theorized that Aspies have an extreme male brain.
Typically, when men have a problem, they deal with it in a straightforward manner (such as telling someone like it is, or punching him in the nose). Women, on the other hand, tend to be connivers. Men are also capable of conniving (like David Dash/Dave Williams in Desperate Housewives), but since they don’t get offended as easily as women do, they care much less about what’s socially correct. For example, women are the more likely ones to place greater emphasis on the details of planning social events (especially weddings).
Think about why there would never be a show called Desperate Husbands. It would be boring in comparison. Men don’t think the same way women do. Aspies don’t think the same way neurotypicals do. Christians don’t (or at least shouldn’t) think the same way as others in the world do.
The difference between me and my husband when we watch Desperate Housewives is that I go beyond merely being entertained by it. I am gaining insight into how worldly neurotypicals behave (especially the women). I can’t expect any of my neighbors (or my relatives) to reveal to me their covert behavior and/or personal tribulations.
Decades ago, a relative of mine harshly exclaimed, “Sheila, you’re not the only person with problems!” I was taken aback by that statement, because I thought people shared their troubles with friends (or at least sisters would) and that was why people asked, “How are you?” I had no confirmation that socializing was a game. It wasn’t until I read Can Aspies Make Friends and Have Dates? that my mind was finally starting to comprehend what my intuition had been trying to tell me throughout my life.
¹Fools despise wisdom and instruction [Proverbs 1:17]. It is an abomination for fools to depart from evil [Proverbs 13:19]. Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die [Proverbs 15:10].
