I don’t ask questions that I wouldn’t want to answer if they were asked of me.
I wouldn’t be so rude as to ask someone, “Do you work?” or “How much money do you make?”
For starters, I’m not interested to know; plus, those things are none of my concern.
It’s illogical for people to fear being rude when someone is being rude to them.
There is nothing wrong with being straightforward by telling someone, “I’m of the opinion it’s not something you need to know.” After all, don’t we all know that everyone is entitled to having an opinion?
There is also nothing wrong with saying, “Since you’re asking a personal question, I prefer to keep that private.”
Both replies are direct, honest, and respectable answers. If the other person feels offended by such answers, then that’s her problem. Obviously she’s nosy (or preconsciously enjoying bullying) to ask such things in the first place.
To change the subject, or play the hinting game, is actually more rude than doing the person a favor by steering her in the right direction. At least then she has the hope of thinking differently and possibly becoming a better person because of your thoughtfulness. If not, then it doesn’t matter what you say or do anyhow so what have you lost?
I have to wonder if all the hype about what’s a rude question isn’t triggered mostly by the fear of not being intelligent enough to know how to handle others.
Is that why it is considered rude to challenge what someone says?
I’ve actually been told that most people don’t like to think. They say it makes them uncomfortable. If that’s so, then how about me? It’s far more uncomfortable to have to live with the consequences of a society that’s too lazy to think.¹
Even if you feel outsmarted by someone, it’s nothing to feel ashamed about. Only proud people feel humiliated and they’re the very ones who should be!
I’ve been told by reliable sources that the #1 fear NTs have is to offend another person. Superficially they might act like they don’t care, but in reality they do. It’s in their preconscious, so they’re not even aware of it.
I would like to ask those who started the rumor that it’s rude to challenge what someone says, “Who do you think you are to define what is rude?…God?” Of course, a question like that would be considered super-rude to ask.
Why so I must ask? Because I’m challenging what someone says! What in the world do such people think they’re doing to those like me?!
They are doing the very same thing. They are challenging what I am saying!… and I say it is NOT rude to challenge what someone says.
Why do I then not allow readers to challenge what I write in my posts? Because I know ahead of time that what they’re going to say has already been said by others.
Communication should go from point A to point B. It can zig-zag along the way, but it if is something that will spin around until someone has to get off to vomit, then why bother?
Most topics have already been argued elsewhere ad nauseam. My blog isn’t a merry-go-round, even though it can be quite the amusing place to park.
¹Add to that, too few people with the backbone to live with integrity! Talking about it (but not doing it) is worse than not talking about it at all.
