The only basic difference between the type of culture shock an Aspie endures when among a group of neurotypicals and/or a NT among a group of Aspies versus NTs adjusting to foreign countries is that the latter has a Honeymoon Phase. Aspies experience a much lower level of culture shock (if any) after being in a foreign country. My Aspieness tells me that spending an entire life trying to assimilate into a NT culture prepared me to feel more at ease in foreign countries.
I can imagine the amount of anxiety NTs (for a change) are shocked by when they’re the ones who are clueless as to what’s appropriate and what’s not in a society that’s not what they’re accustomed to. It’s inevitable that they’re going to infect those around them with that same nervous energy.
Because an Aspie has not been spoiled in this social sense, s/he is much more likely to enter into the new and different culture in a calm and relaxed state of being. All neurological types of people might be able to enjoy satisfying their curiosity in new surroundings, but I doubt NTs do as well as Aspies (generally speaking) when it comes to exploring strange societies.
As an adult, when I traveled, I never had someone to travel with me. I went alone or I didn’t go. Now when I reflect back on those times, I realize how much less anxiety I felt when stepping off a plane in a foreign land as compared to enduring a social gathering in what should be my own culture. I still would not be emotionally disturbed when someone who should have met me upon arrival would not be there. Such things simply added to my pleasant excitement.
I’ve never gone for tourist packages and I know I’d hate going on a commercial cruise ship. In fact, the more the trip could be unconventional and off the beaten path with plenty of unknowns, the better it was. To me, that kind of adventure is always more relaxing than those that are prearranged to please the masses. I can only guess it’s mostly because of getting a fresh new dose of intellectual stimulation (i.e., nothing boring/very interesting).
I was told that people don’t know what to make of someone who doesn’t act nervous in situations where most others would. I guess I portray a similar attitude like Borat when he approached a gang of black rappers who taught him to speak slang in the movie Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.¹
It’s interesting to note that people can end up following the lead set by the one walking into a situation. It’s not much different than how a pack of dogs would react to the way that a new dog enters into their territory.
For example, I remember feeling genuinely popular (unlike I ever felt before) among a culture foreign to modern influence. I was told those particular natives to the land normally dislike Americans and that they found me to be not what they had expected at all. I had no idea what they were expecting and I had no clue what to expect from them. The odd thing for me was to experience immediate acceptance. I could easily share laughter with any of them (and did), but for me to experience that kind of relaxing at some social gathering like a local barbecue, dinner, or party is something that would never happen. It’s just not the same kind of laughing that builds bonds and goes deep. I guess that’s to be expected when so much importance is placed upon what’s socially correct versus offensive.
If the problem was as NTs mistakenly think, that Aspies don’t know how to be social properly, then it wouldn’t make any difference where in the world I’d go because all societies would react the same way to me. Since that’s not the case, then the real problem must come from what NTs expect from Aspies. Aspies can read books like Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People or Don Gabor’s How To Start A Conversation and Make Friends but tips in books like that mean nothing when you’re among people who will never understand your way of thinking and/or being.
I could never have been a hit with cliques like The Plastics portrayed in the film Mean Girls.² Such immature behavior doesn’t change when girls like that grow up. What happens instead is the meanness become more sophisticated and polished. It’s not hard to sense its existence. In fact, it’s almost impossible for me to ignore it when I detect it in others. There are some who don’t care whether or not I know they’re really not nice. Most though do care about what impression they make, but what they don’t see is the degree to which they may be deceiving themselves into thinking they’re being ‘nice’ when in reality that is not the case.
To openly and honestly discuss what’s disliked and possibly perceived with disgust, along with why, is nearly impossible. Usually most prefer to limit the attention integrity gets, especially now when playing small-scale politics³ (in just about every social situation) is becoming increasingly popular.
The bottom line is Aspies face culture shock every time we’re thrown into a social scenario.
How can Aspies, such as myself, not experience anxiety and feelings (of surprise, disorientation, uncertainty, confusion, etc.) when we have to operate within a different and unknown cultural or social environment, such as the foreign ways in which neurotypicals think and behave?
Pressure (stress) grows because of the impossibilities Aspies face in assimilating the new (NT) culture that causes difficulty in knowing what is appropriate and what is not. This is often combined with a dislike for or even disgust (moral or aesthetical) towards certain aspects of socializing.
¹Four seconds of this can be seen at the 1:42 — 1:46 section of the trailer clip.
²No amount of coaching, therapy, books, or ‘meds’ could make that happen, even if I wanted to gain such acceptance.
³Politics (noun): social relations involving authority or power.
