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Due to the insane amount of people interested in Harold Camping, I felt led to remove all of what I originally wrote in each post attracting traffic from search engines. I don’t want to encourage this kind of obsession.
People should be devoting their time and attention to the bible instead of a man who is constantly telling people to go to the bible. Christians should not need to be told twice by two different individuals to study the bible for themselves.
Question: Why do Asperger adults avoid confrontation?
Answer: Usually it’s because it can create a bottomless pit of explanations needed which most likely might not be comprehended by neurotypicals anyhow.
For example, can this reason for writer’s block be comprehended?
I have no idea if and/or how many people might be able to understand how it can happen for a person to have writer’s block when s/he has too much to say. I don’t know what’s meant by the definition of writer’s block when it’s said, “…an author loses the ability to produce new work.”
It’s true I can’t ‘produce’ new work on my blog, but the reason why might not be the same as what’s intended by the meaning of writer’s block.
Normally for those who write and hit a wall stopping them, it’s because they can’t think of new material. Sometimes that’s my reason for not posting. I’m now realizing though that it is not my usual reason, especially when the blocks are my toughest to bust through.
I’m actually in one of my most difficult periods of time to produce new material because I have WAY TOO MUCH new material! In fact, there is so much I’d love to say that I’m too overwhelmed to even record it on my voice recorder! I’ve tried it before when I’m in this condition and what I end up doing almost all the time is deleting it all because it ends up becoming too challenging for my executive functioning abilities. All the new material piles up so fast that I have to find a way to dump it when it looks like there is no end in sight. How’s that for a mess? Plus, when it comes that fast, I cannot retain it all in my memory. I suspect that my mental habit is to dump a lot of the new insights in order to protect myself from going insane by it all.
Here’s how it works:
The more I’m in an receptive mode, the more I’m attracted to things which fuel my thoughts. I have no idea when, where, or how another new insight/revelation will come. It could be from a person, book, video (or audio) production, or experience.¹ The more engrossed I get, the less I’m able to realize how deeply I’m digging myself down under it all. I don’t dare mention any of those things that have collected to captivate my attention because I must get back to them now.
I need what I’m learning from it all, but at the same time I feel frustrated that I can’t share it since it probably would help others like it is helping me. It all feels so selfish, but I doubt it since true selfishness stems from wrong motives.
As Adrian Monk would say, “It’s a blessing and a curse.” Being in a hyper-active mental state sure doesn’t help one to stay on track with other activities that one is committed to accomplishing!
I’m going to try to force myself to focus on writing something significant, but yet as brief as I can think of, after this post so that I can feel like I’m at least capable of that much. Hopefully that will give me some encouragement while I’m in my writer’s block.
¹It must be obvious that when there are too many offline sources of inspiration bubbling on the stove of one’s mind, gravitating to the internet, on top of it all, is asking to be stretched into the snap zone!
Maybe it’s a good thing there isn’t anyone trying to get to know me? It’s not that I have something to hide or that I don’t like who I am. I cannot image how much effort and time it would take for another human being to remotely comprehend (not assume to know) even a portion of my characteristics (if it would even be possible).
Why must I say what I’m about to say today? Because early this morning another revelation occurred to me. In my last post, I said blogging (for me) can be a viciously destructive cycle. I wouldn’t be surprised if after what I say next causes most to view me as being fickle. I’ve learned to expect that from those with less comprehension.
So, if blogging can be self-destructive for me, then why am I writing again? Well, for starters, who else is there to tell me how therapeutic my journal continues to be even when I’m not posting? I confess that does sound arrogant to say such a thing. After all, why say it if you already know it? Because I forget, especially if it’s something positive about myself! Think about it. How could anyone remind me of something so important when no one else even knows?
If it wasn’t for my habit of logging in to my blog to check for messages from those contacting me and my curiosity over seeing what others are curious about that I wrote, I wouldn’t get sucked into reading my posts. As I view what draws the attention of others, I then end up examining my posts for possible needs of updates and/or edits. Once that happens, my own words usually penetrate back to me when I need them the most. I wonder how often that same thing happens to others?
Maybe what I need is more faith in God? It can get hard for me to discern how close self-pity is below the surface, but just because it can be there doesn’t mean it always is.
I’m not sure how my own information I put together can cause me to think so much when I already had to have done a lot of thinking in order to write it in the first place.
All I can guess is that emotions are to blame.
Even though emotions need to be closely monitored and are not always constructive, they do serve a purpose. It’s my theory that because emotions are fickle and emotions fuel writing most of the time, my blogging style can end up being perceived as periodic fickle behavior. Blogging (at least speaking for myself) isn’t much unlike the weather. The weather basically isn’t very predictable, but just because it isn’t doesn’t mean that it’s unfaithful, disloyal, deceitful, untrue, or betraying.
How ironic it is that I published my last post as an attempt to help protect myself from self-pity/depression, only to discover such negative attitudes have infinite ways to attack and it was my own blog which pulled me out from my recent mire of despondency.
Time does tell what works.
