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On this earth, Christmas comes once a year. We can still celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.
Soon Christ shall return. We will finally be home to joyfully celebrate in peace for all eternity!
That will be the best Christmas ever for those of us who endure in faith till the end!
Merry Christmas!
I recently realized that something I said in my On Sabbatical page is not completely true and, what’s worse, is that it indirectly says God is a liar. It is true that being Obsessive/Compulsive is a challenge and, under a certain condition, it really does not go away. I did correctly state, in God’s eyes, Obsessive/Compulsive behavior is a sin. Unless God reveals this to a person, O/C behavior will be seen only as a disorder. Obsessiveness/Compulsiveness is a disorder and it really does not go away by human effort. No amount of resolve, medication, or creative maneuvers (e.g., my recent idea to put my blog On Sabbatical) can cure it. If I continued to believe what I said about O/C, I could temporarily repress the urge to behave that way only to have the O/C behavior eventually surface in some other area of my life.
O/C behavior is manifested via the brain. Human behavior experts and God agree on that account. Psychology is a soft science and psychologists cannot go beyond what’s visible. Because the boundaries aren’t clearly visible, often times humanistic thinking crosses those grey areas. When that happens, incorrect assumptions are made. One example of that is the incorrect statement about Asperger people lacking empathy, along with neglecting to mention neurotypical people also lack Theory of Mind (when it comes to their lack of ability to read the non-verbal signals Aspies display).
The reason I didn’t see something like O/C behavior beyond the point I now do is because of allowing psychology to be a stumbling block to what God says about the matter. I’m surprised I didn’t even notice what my words said in describing my blog being On Sabbatical were revealing about my heart.¹ I’m also surprised to learn why self-realization (of behaviors, thoughts, feelings, etc.) has to be turned into Christ-realization and that realizing things about one’s self is not quite what God meant by examining self. I had no idea until just recently how impossible of a task it is for anyone to know himself.
That goes to show how right God is when He tells us in Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” God did not intend for mankind to have the ability to make a science out of an area exclusively His domain. Even the apostle Paul had the wisdom to know enough to say in 1 Corinthians 4:3-4, “But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of you, or of man’s judgment: yea, I judge not mine own self. For I know nothing by myself; yet am I not hereby justified: but he that judgeth me is the Lord.”
The certain condition I was referring to that prevents Obsessive/Compulsive behavior from becoming extinct in those who are weak with this area of their life has to do with the heart; not the brain. The heart is what determines brain activity (and the physical conditions of the human body). [By using the term heart, the physical heart is not what's being meant here.]
By my nurturing a victim mentality for too long (psychology can create that effect whether people admit it or not), I remained buried in the subtle grave of believing I will always have a tendency towards being O/C. Believing you have it prevents believing you had it.
For unbelievers, seeing is believing. For believers, believing is seeing.
I’m not sure how much of what’s said in Proverbs 23:7, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:…,” pertains to this situation. In Barnes’ Commentary, he said it probably means, “as he is all along in his heart, so is he (at last) in act.”
Just because someone may have God’s Holy Spirit and be saved does not mean he can always know what his own heart is causing him to think. That’s why Christians need to trust that the Lord will reveal what is needed to be known. Until something is brought to His light, we will never see what’s left in our darkness. I knew God works in us both to will and to do of His good pleasure. Philippians 2:13 is one of my favorite verses, but I didn’t quite comprehend the meaning of the previous verse that says, “…work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.”
Self-righteousness (which is what every religion outside of Christianity promotes) is humanity’s attempt to work goodness into self as one progresses from infancy into mature adulthood. To work goodness out from self requires Christ’s righteousness and Christ to abide within a person. Either self (flesh; carnal nature) is followed or Christ.
For me to think that God will do for me what He tells me He has equipped me to do, is a revelation most people probably wouldn’t understand how it could take as long as it has for me to comprehend. The only reason for me to believe that I have a tendency towards being O/C, and that I have to keep vigilant over when, where, and what will attract that nasty demon back into my life, would be because of not doing what’s said in Philippians 3:13, “…this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before…”
For me to refuse to forget about what’s behind me (e.g., the variety of O/C behaviors I’ve struggled to overcome), is a subtle excuse to keep that sin alive in my life. As I’ve already said, the reason O/C qualifies as a sin is simply because it is a behavior that goes against God’s will. I just realized over a couple of weeks ago how 2 Corinthians 10:5, “…and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” connects with all this. O/C behavior cannot exist if every thought is captive to the obedience of Christ.
Last night, when reading page 203 of Oswald Chambers’ book Biblical Psychology, I was reminded of 1 Corinthians 2:16 saying that we [Christians] have the mind of Christ. Christ did not have O/C behavior. When Christ abides within a saved individual, there is no excuse for such behavior to exist. When it exists, it does so only because of refusing to work out the salvation God worked in. In my case, my heart no longer desires to follow after my carnal nature now that God has saved me. If it did, then I would not want to admit I’m excusing my O/C behavior by saying it really cannot go away.²
I can say my recollections of my various O/C behaviors have become a weakness that manifests itself in my life. However, since Paul says of himself in 2 Corinthians 12:10, “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” I too can take pleasure in infirmities.³ My Obsessive/Compulsive memories are an infirmity revealing a weakness of my mind. If I refused to go the one step beyond that confession, I would be manifesting rebellion in my heart towards God.
In very rough terms, God says, “So what? Big deal. So you’re human and you’re discovering that without Me you’ll never be able to escape sin’s grasp. Who can? That’s why you’ve been given My Son as your savior. I’ve given you an instrument (i.e., Jesus) and the necessary talent/skill/ability (i.e., Christ’s righteousness), now pick it up [His righteousness worked in] and practice to perform [work out] harmonious music to My ears!”
It’s time for me to blow the dust off Christ within, take Him off the shelf I’ve left Him on, and start to do what I’ve been foolishly waiting for God to do for me. Those who don’t have Christ, can only play the thief’s tunes. The world will dance to that beat, but there is no reason why Godly people should.
Because I’m glad to know I can, once and for all, be rid of an old victim mentality, I know I’ve become a new creature. I don’t have to be afraid of it coming back to haunt me. Jesus said in Mark 5:36, “…Be not afraid, only believe.” Piecing together all of what God has to say about the matter of behaviors out-of-sync with His will, once again shows how truth works to set us free!
“But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” — 1 Corinthians 15:57
¹In my heart, I was unconsciously keeping an old flame (i.e., lust) burning. Before becoming saved, my heart’s condition prevented me from being cured of the things not in God’s order for living an abundant life.
²The irresponsible victim mentally will not have it go away. It’s human nature to use the word can’t when, in reality, the appropriate words are usually will not.
³2 Corinthians 12:9 points out it is the power of Christ at work in those areas a Christian is weak. God would not remove the thorn in Paul’s flesh (carnal nature) for his own good. The messenger of Satan was to buffet Paul lest he should be exalted above measure and esteem himself more highly than he ought. There is no room for pride in the statement, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” To remain dependent upon Christ’s strength [power] is a humbling experience.
Due to the insane amount of people interested in Harold Camping, I felt led to remove all of what I originally wrote in each post attracting traffic from search engines. I don’t want to encourage this kind of obsession.
People should be devoting their time and attention to the bible instead of a man who is constantly telling people to go to the bible. Christians should not need to be told twice by two different individuals to study the bible for themselves.
I gained a greater understanding of psychiatric medications, because of remembering 1 Timothy 1:8-9 and 2 Corinthians 10:15, along with what I observed from watching an Oprah Winfrey¹ episode on The 7-Year-Old Schizophrenic, January Schofield.
Review what God says in those verses before going on to read how they affected my thoughts on psychiatric medications:
1 Timothy 1:8-9, “But we know that the law is good, if a man use it lawfully; Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man,² but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers,”
2 Corinthians 10:5, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”
[I'm focusing on schizophrenia to use as an example for making my point about psychiatric medications. It's significance hopefully will be evident by the end of this post.]
Given that schizophrenics are obviously insane and what God says in 2 Timothy 1:7,
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
…it’s no wonder then that an ‘expert’ like Dr. Judith Rapoport, chief of the National Institute of Mental Health’s child psychiatry branch, when trying to answers questions about childhood schizophrenia, would say,
Part of the problem is that there’s been a lot of very excellent research, and it’s harder to know how to put all this together.
Rapoport mentions genetics, sickness during pregnancy, and living in the city versus the country, as contributing factors towards the cause of schizophrenia. She would never consider the cause to be spiritually related for the reasons I said in my Mental Health post.
Because almost everyone in the mental health field focuses on what they can observe and would be mocked if they dared to include what can only be revealed by God’s gift of faith to understand His word expressed in the Holy Scriptures of the bible, they will forever remain in the loop of thinking they’re close to solving mysteries related to certain human behaviors (and at times, will believe they have) only to discover sooner or later they are back to being confused again.
As Oswald Chambers points out in his book Biblical Psychology, the brain is the avenue through which the heart (it’s a figure of speech; not to be referenced to the physical heart) manifests itself. The human body invisibly responds to spiritual influences. Because Satan is the master of deception, too subtle and clever for the human mind to conquer, and is granted authority to rule over unsaved man, there is no way possible for anyone to know how desperately he needs to repent. Repentance is a gift from God and is the tribulation stage of labor before one becomes born again. Without it, people are deluded into thinking they’re fine without God and don’t need Him to solve life’s problems.
There are none so blind as those who will not see, as God says in Matthew 13:15 (and in other verses),
For this people’s heart [the unregenerate heart] is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.
People with a very high level of intelligence and creativity are known to be prone to becoming schizophrenic. John Forbes Nash Jr. is just one example. It’s mistakenly claimed that he ‘recovered’ from his battle with schizophrenia. The way it should be described is that he has learned how to use the power of his mind to ‘manage’ his hallucinations. Instead of them controlling him, he controls them. His symptoms appear gone, but he knows his audible delusions still have the ability to take control over him, if he is not cautious. The movie A Beautiful Mind does not portray Nash accurately. In real life, he is as much of a sinner as any who remain enslaved to their carnal nature.
It’s easier to comprehend the connection between schizophrenia and what’s said in 2 Corinthians 10:5 than to see what 1 Timothy 1:8-9 has to do with it. To be a brilliant artist, inventor, musician, mathematician, scientist, philosopher, or creator of some sort requires high-caliber thinking. The more active and creative a mind is, the greater becomes the challenge to control its thoughts generated. The saying, “Don’t let your imagination run away with you (i.e., run wild)” could possibly stem from God’s command for us to cast down imaginations and everything else that exalts itself against our being able to know Him, along with making every thought obedient to His will (in short, a sound mind is one aligned with reality/truth).
It makes sense that the ability to imagine usually diminishes as one matures. Maturity requires responsibility and to be responsible requires that you stay focused on reality. The imagination can work with reality or it can work against it.
There are two basic definitions for imagination:
(1.) The ability or tendency to form a mental image of something that is neither perceived as real nor present to the senses.
(2.) The ability to confront and deal with reality by using the creative power of the mind; resourcefulness, as in using a great imagination to handle problems.
Einstein had a powerful imagination. So did many other famous people known throughout history. It makes sense that Satan would want imaginations built up in ways which will work against reality and cause them (i.e., malicious spirits) to captivate the individual who is doing the imagining. The devil can accomplish malice faster by thoughts out of control than he can if they’re harnessed by continuous counseling and/or medications.³ Only those who are saved are able to rein in powerful and unruly thoughts, provided that they walk by faith after God’s Spirit instead walking by sight after their flesh (i.e., the carnal nature that lusts to please one’s senses).
As for what 1 Timothy 1:8-9 has to do with the mental health profession and psychiatric medications, humanities solutions for treating unsound mental conditions are as much needed as the law is for the ungodly and sinners. In 1 Timothy 1:9, a righteous man is a person who has Christ’s righteousness; it’s not the self-righteous. Self-righteous people are all those who think they do not need a savior. They’re proud people who think they’re already ‘right’ without needing to humbly grovel for mercy from their creator (and have to wait for maybe years or decades on top of all that?!?!).
When Jesus said in Matthew 9:12, “…They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick,” the whole being referred to are those who believe they are not sinners who need salvation. The physician is Christ. Those who are sick are those who know they can never be good enough (i.e., right enough). The sick are those who are sick of feeling guilty and want to be cured of their sinful condition. Those who are whole (in that verse) are those who deal with their guilt in their own way, usually by deluding themselves into believing that they have nothing to feel guilty about. Generally speaking, the more sinners there are, the less uncomfortable guilt feels to the non-elect (for example, the more liars there are, the less uncomfortably practicing lying is). Rather than be delivered from their sin, the self-righteous prefer to deliver sin from shame and make it increasingly socially acceptable. Rather than hate sin, they label the hatred of sin as being a hate crime against sinners. If they can’t do that, then they’ll eliminate the use of the word sin and replace it with mental illness. The motive for doing so is to eliminate guilt from insane behavior. [Note: Behavior can be labeled as a disorder by experts simply because it's incomprehensible to them. Not all that is confusing is sin and not all that is socially acceptable is sin-free.]
In 1 Timothy 1:8, God places a condition upon the law being good. It is only good if man uses it lawfully. What is meant by lawfully is that mankind’s legal system must harmonize with the ultimate (perfect) law book — the bible. Because mankind is corrupt by nature, it’s only logical that a judicial system infected with ungodly solutions will be the same way. Sweet fruit can’t grow from weeds. As the time approaches closer for Christ’s return, the law will only become increasingly bad for society.
Because God is only saving a remnant of people, the world needs laws, the mental health profession, and products from the pharmaceutical industry. Those things are not the ideal God had in mind for mankind, but they serve their purpose. In heaven, there will be no need for civil, social, and/or mental health services. However, as this world becomes more decadent, the ungodly can only become increasingly dependent upon what they rely on for solutions to its problems.
It is only by the grace of God a person can live on this earth in good health with a sound mind, especially without ever needing a doctor, therapist, or medication. Those who are blessed in such ways should not judge those who are not; instead, the loving thing to do is pray for them and be understanding of their need for help from professionals and medications.
There is no one on this planet who doesn’t need prayers. We’re all human, even though we have different strengths and weaknesses.
¹I almost never watch TV talk shows anymore, especially ones like Oprah Winfrey. However, this past Monday when flipping through the channels while knitting my sweater, the topic of schizophrenia happened to grab my attention.
²God puts His law in the hearts of His children, as stated in Psalm 37:31 and Jeremiah 31:33, along with other verses of the bible.
³Jani Schofield’s schizophrenia (so far) is kept at bay by the administration of Clozaril (because of the ‘rats’) and Lithium (because of the ‘numbers’). Even though she takes those meds, she has to have someone engaging her in conversation while she is awake (usually it’s either her mother or her father). If she is left alone with her thoughts/imagination, she slips back into schizophrenic behavior.
Unless you’re willing to exercise an open mind, it might be best if you do not read any further. What’s written here in this post is a fine example of controversial subject matter. If you feel equipped for such things without also feeling frustrated over views which may be radically different from what you’re accustomed to, then continue on.
More and more people in today’s society don’t believe there is such a thing as sin. That’s logical considering that those people also probably don’t believe God exists, at least a God that would dare to say there is right versus wrong. It’s easy to see murder can’t be right. Things like obsessive/compulsive behavior and chronic depression are also readily accepted as wrong, but are not viewed as criminal. Who would have ever imagined that law abiding citizens would be forced to pay a certain portion of thieves disability? Most probably don’t even know that kleptomaniacs are entitled to disability. We’re also forced to financially support those who are incarcerated in human zoos rather than do the logical thing of making them pay society back all that they stole (and they should also pay interest on the value of what they helped themselves to just like those who make purchases using credit cards!). People who attempt self-murder (i.e., suicide) also get “disability” benefits.
In God’s eyes, most things the mental health profession labels as a mental illnesses are sin. Homosexuality was once labeled in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as being a mental illness. It was later revised for society to refer to it as being an “alternate lifestyle.” If it took the same route as autism, homosexuality would be said to be a disease of growing epidemic proportions. God would say it’s a sin of growing epidemic proportions. Today, humanity calls people who agree with God homophobic. It’s popular because the DSM has been granted higher authority over the bible. The government is subtly acquiring higher authority over God in areas of marriage and the church when they license marriage and churches incorporate. Now it’s the government who defines marriage rather than our Creator.¹
I call people who think of Aspergers as being a “condition” that belongs in the DSM Aspiephobic. If I seem angry, that emotion is not towards people; it’s towards Satan for once again taking deception another notch further.
On the flip side, The American Psychiatric Association made no mention of Aspergers until the year 1994, which is when it was added to their DSM IV. Now they say the Aspergers Syndrome label is vague and confusing. They propose to eliminate the use of the term and instead refer to Aspies as being High Functioning Autistics. I do not want to say any more about autism other than what Dr. Catherine Lord said in an article published in the New York Times on November 2, 2009 by Claudia Wallis entitled, “A Powerful Identity, a Vanishing Diagnosis” states,
The proposed elimination of autism subtypes comes at the very moment when research suggests that the disorder may have scores of varieties. Investigators have already identified more than a dozen gene patterns associated with autism, but Dr. Lord, of Michigan, said the genetic markers “don’t seem to map at all into what people currently call Asperger’s or P.D.D.”
Sinful behavior is increasingly reaping financial rewards and less punishment in this world, while those who struggle to stay as far away from sinning end up punished for good behavior. The body of the mental health profession has an undetected cancer growing within its fellowship that’s making it chronically ill. A section of it is much like a mutating virus. If that wasn’t so, they wouldn’t keep revising their definitions, continually get confused, and disagree with some others in this world with their assessments of human behavior. They’d have success with “curing” diseases like schizophrenia.
I’m progressively perceiving schizophrenia and dissociative identity disorder (previously known as split personality or alter ego) as extreme expressions of not being able to take every thought captive; the self-generated thoughts captivate the individual enslaved to this world’s ultimate cruel master. One such example is displayed in Jani Schofield’s life (it’s admitted in that article she battles demons).² Jani (nickname for “January”) is a sweet and lovable child to those who meet her (for example, this is what an associate producer from Oprah’s Show said. However, when she spoke the name January, Jani flipped out over it).
Because she (Jani) portrays a child-like innocence, it’s hard (if not impossible) for unsaved people to consider that within that adorable exterior is a heart in need of salvation.
Man, by nature, perceives humanity in an opposite manner than God does. That’s what God means by saying, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.” in Isaiah 55:8. There are videos for those who missed Oprah’s episode covering Jani Schofield.
The Psychiatric Association would say the brain is the cause of the undesirable behavior. Drugs are experimented with to see which ones do the best job at “managing” the unwanted behavior. Periodically one is discovered that seems to do a fairly good job at doing so. They admit that they can’t cure it, but they will never admit that the cause is spiritual. They cannot ever consider a deeper root (i.e., the heart). It could destroy their profession, reputation, and income. More importantly, it would cause the devil to lose a huge foothold he now has over humanity. God goes one step further than these humanistic experts by telling us that the heart (figure of speech—not the physical heart) determines how the brain will react (and how the individual’s physical human body will react).
Pride repeatedly proves to obstruct truth. For example, when George W. Kling (an expert on carbon cycling) tried to convince volcanologists that they were wrong about their theory behind what caused the death of 37 people nearby Lake Monoun on August 15th, 1984, the volcanists refused to give credence to the results reported by Kling’s personal investigation into the matter.³ Even when the greater disaster of Lake Nyos occurred on August 21, 1986 (suffocating 1,700 people and 3,500 livestock in nearby villages!), there were volcanists still unwilling to accept Kling’s claim on what caused it. It wasn’t until a few years later that the rest of the vocanologists finally surrendered to the truth that those deaths were not caused by volcanic activity; that they were caused by CO2 (Carbon Dioxide) poisoning.
The ultimate disease that exists in mankind is pride. Pride is rebellion against God’s will. That’s why the mental health experts pay little (if any) attention to pride and would distort its definition when they do. Any and all behavior that’s not in harmony with God’s will is sick and evil. Those are strong words, especially these days. The only cure for this condition is salvation. All of mankind is born with a carnal nature that lusts against God’s Spirit. The best book (apart from God’s word written in the Holy Bible) there seems to be for explaining what mankind’s body, soul, and spirit is, is by Oswald Chambers. It’s titled Biblical Psychology. Reading that book made up my mind what I want this Christmas! → The Complete Works of Oswald Chambers. Oswald Chambers is the author of one of the best daily devotionals (if not the best) in existence → My Utmost for His Highest. Sample his work for yourself, but be forewarned about reading his book Biblical Psychology — It is NOT a quick read; it makes you think hard if you dare to read it in its entirety.
¹The devil is busy flip-flopping as much as he can. Couples who refuse to bow down to the gods of human government for their recognition of marriage are labeled by most Christians as living in sin. Satan is the master of confusion and marriage is one area he must mess with. One of the best articles I’ve read lately about the topic of marriage is by Michael Pearl, written in June 2009, called Holy Matrimony. He offers some wonderful advice on how Christians should handle their stand on maintaining what a traditional family is.
²Jani’s imagination is obviously so powerful that it will not allow her to behave sanely. She cannot have a sound mind because the children and animals in her imagination will not allow her to know God. God is her only hope for her brain to express its thoughts without them enslaving her to the nightmare she is trapped in. Jani’s mind isn’t the problem; it’s the symptom. Jani’s heart needs to receive Christ, because He is the truth and the light she needs to set her free.
³When I first watched a documentary about this catastrophe and they mentioned blisters on the skin of some victims, it immediately made no sense to me that it could have been from heat burns. It also made no sense to me that those deaths could have been caused by a volcano. Since I don’t specialize an interest in Earth Science, the invisible factor (CO2—Carbon Dioxide) didn’t occur to me ( an out-of-sight, out-of-mind case). Regardless of my lack to consider frost bite from concentrated amounts of CO2, I still could not automatically accept the theory of heat burns. I’ve developed a habit of taking statements and considering their opposite first; then (if there isn’t enough information to ground the matter) I will flip-flop (swing back and forth) until there is. That’s usually how information stays in my mind until further notice.
Today I have a special treat for those who may have been trying to view my blog after it became password protected last month. Obviously I’ve removed that feature if you’re reading this, but don’t jump to the conclusion that being On Sabbatical is over already. Sabbaticals usually last anywhere between two months to a year.
Can a blog be on sabbatical? If so, how? Here’s exactly what I’ve written on the webpage I wrote today that I link to my password’s login page (which possibly could be used again if or whenever my blog is on another sabbatical):
On Sabbatical or Sheila Schoonmaker?
I’ve chosen to replace my name with the term On Sabbatical whenever this site of mine may be password protected. When my blog is freely open to the public, it reverts back to its original name.
Inconsistently using password protection, along with no explanation for why a blog would be on sabbatical, probably makes no sense at all. It makes sense to me, because I know what I’m doing and why I’m doing it.
I hope to accomplish two objectives at once by saying why I do such things with my blog. The first one is to ease confusion as much as possible. The second one is to have others get a taste of how difficult I can be to comprehend. My online behavior reminds me of how challenging I must be for those who see me offline. It also reminds me of how much work it is for me to deal with people offline. Just as I wisely need to cautiously gauge my offline social activity, I need to develop a system to monitor my online activity.
Immediately after thinking about what to replace my name with when using password protection, the word sabbatical came to mind. After reading Wikipedia’s description of what a sabbatical is, I knew in my heart that God was guiding me on the right track with my idea. I also knew that it would throw my readers into a state of confusion, especially without any forewarning of its happening. Ideas happen without any foreknowledge of their coming. The more creative a mind is, the more it’s able to grasp this concept.
Even this idea of creating an explanation page for when my blog is On Sabbatical is one I didn’t know would come into existence until December 3rd, 2009. As I’ve said in some posts, my thoughts usually go from complex to simple. In this case, it took a few weeks before the obvious arrived. Maybe if I didn’t have so much on my mind already, it would have been sooner. Oh well, it’s here now.
Being a Christian and an Aspie, I really march to a different drummer. That means I deal with my quirks in ways that other Aspies typically don’t; mostly because of my many years of experiencing what faith has brought me through. In this particular situation concerning my blog, my blog is both a blessing and a curse. It continually proves itself to be a blessing in my life in its original goal of being a therapeutic personal journal, provided that I use it primarily for my own purposes. I want others to be blessed too and password protecting it can put a block upon that happening.
The (O/C) curse packaged into my method of therapy was something I could not have known about until time would reveal it (not much unlike long-term ’side’ effects meds psychiatrists prescribe). I do not like using the humanistic phrase Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder, but since it’s a well-known phenomenon, I’ll use that instead of calling it by its right name sin. The mental health profession calls O/C a disorder. God calls it a sin.¹ Either way, being O/C is a challenge to say the least and it really does not go away. It can go into remission (especially when stress levels decrease) and it can be ‘controlled’ under medication. No one is without his or her predispositions towards certain sins to contend with in life. Because I have tendency towards being O/C, I know that I have to keep vigilant over when, where, and what will attract that nasty demon back into my life.
I have never taken meds for behavior issues and never will. Becoming saved does not mean a Christian doesn’t have to face trials and temptations. God expects His children to work out their salvation that He puts in. If I were to take a pill to curb my O/C behavior that’s connected to my blogging, I probably could continue to keep my blog accessible without a password, but if I did that, it would be another lost opportunity for my faith to grow. Then, when a real crises would come along, my behavior would be no different than an unsaved soul. My loyalty is to God and God’s will is that I be transformed by the renewing of my mind, that I may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. The alternative is to be conformed to this world by thinking and behaving the way that typical humanity does (as opposed to what God says in His word).
Throughout my life I’ve had to overcome a variety of O/C, addictive, and codependent (i.e., sinful) behaviors. Some would last for years and often feel like a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Ironically, whenever I’d go for ‘professional’ help, I’d end up with more problems instead of less to deal with. The last time I received counseling from a mental health professional was in January 2007. I foolishly attempted to seek help from a nearby psychologist after that, but received nothing but a bill for one hour of being told nothing useful. Since the one and only potentially helpful therapist I’ve ever encountered (a Christian psychologist who didn’t charge me anything for the 2-3 hours of his time we spoke) was too far away from me, his advice to me was to stop trying to find a counselor and instead make a serious attempt at being my own therapist by using a personal journal. The kind he probably had in mind was one like a notebook you’d keep at your bedside or in a desk drawer. It wasn’t until a year later that the idea to have one online as a blog hit me.
In the fall of 2009, I began noticing the severity of O/C behavior creeping into my blogging. After praying for wisdom to know how to begin to deal with this new dilemma, the idea of switching my blog from public view to private view came along. I knew a change like that could mean sacrificing the potential for others to be blessed, but sometimes in life that’s what’s needed in order to achieve success. With certainty, if I don’t take care of myself, others will ultimately suffer the consequences too; even if I kept my blog easily accessible to the public at the cost of my private life falling apart because of becoming O/C with it being open for viewing to all.
How could I have known that turning my blog private would end my O/C behavior stemming from it? I didn’t; nor could I have unless I at least tried it for awhile and observed what the consequences would be. I acted in faith by shutting the way into the blog. I know it’s possible for some to still find a way in regardless of the password page, but that’s irrelevant to the issue I must deal with. The main point is I accomplished a baby step in the right direction. I learned a new and vital piece of information I can probably make use of later.
I don’t know what God’s will is for me in the future; whether or not I even have a blog anymore. I don’t doubt many might like to interpret this situation with their opinions on the matter, but that’s not my business. My business is to live by the Spirit of God; not the flesh.
As said in Wikipedia, “In recent times, ’sabbatical’ has come to mean any extended absence in the career of an individual in order to achieve something.” I’m living to continually achieve higher goals and sometimes it may be necessary for me to take an extended absence from my ‘career’ (i.e., occupation; as in an activity that occupies a person’s attention).
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. – Ecclesiastes 3:1
All for the glory of God,
Sheila Faith Schoonmaker
¹The reason O/C qualifies as a sin is simply because it is a behavior that goes against God’s will. In 2 Corinthians 10:5 of the King James Version of the bible we see, “…and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” O/C behavior cannot exist if every thought is captive to the obedience of Christ.
