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To My Valentine

  • Posted on February 14, 2010

What happens when you’re married to someone who doesn’t like money spent on cards for special days? Well, if you’re like me and you don’t care what the rest of the world thinks about your poor skill at writing poems, you slap one together and throw it online to surprise your mate! Here you go dear… this one’s for you by your Looney-Tunes love’n wife! —

My sweet Bugs, an odd couple we are!
So close… but yet seemingly far.

Will you bring me flowers, pink and red?
love me still, though we’re long wed?

Your fuzzy chest… so grey and cute,
stole my heart and kept as loot.

It didn’t happen overnight.
There were times you gave me fright.

Friction between us blistered our pride.
There was nowhere to run or go hide.

Love is not a feeling nor something to spoil.
It’s a lifelong commitment to be loyal.
Bugs Bunny Valentine
It’s made towards only one —
whether or not there’s any fun.

I won’t recall my better days.
The past’s a trap anyways.

We’re together in what’s ‘now,’
God knows I’ll find out how,

…to be my best for you yet still,
before life’s over, that I will!

What can I give you, my sweet Bugs?
Lots of kisses and long warm hugs!

You’ve been my Valentine for years already,
that’s what helps make my life steady.

It’s not predictability that gets boring,
nor is it hearing your loud snoring.

The culprit of boredom is the wanting.
Instead of giving, my selfishness gets haunting.

Valentine’s Day is for lovers.
Let’s always stay under our same covers!

My mind too often.

  • Posted on January 29, 2010

It’s kind of going through this season again…

Rabbit or duck season?

whether it’s creating a new weblog design¹ or new post.

I think I’ll allow comments for a change, but who knows for how long? Special events pass quickly.

I’m curious what my readers think of the new look for this site. Please don’t feel offended if I don’t make more alterations that what I’ve already done.

If you’re experiencing slower than usual page loading, it’s not the software’s fault. It’s the hosting company’s poor management of accounts they’ve acquired. They offer no money-back guarantee for dissatisfied annual subscribers.

[Edit added 14 hours after publication time — This post went up before I went to sleep last night. This morning it's as if the web hosting fairy came while I was asleep. I'm stunned by how much faster the pages load on my site! How's that for a weird coincidence?!?!]

[Edit added 3 days after publication time — This morning I see that the speed at which the pages on my site load has slowed down a lot. I guess the hosting company's service is also like my mind too often. Some kind of indecision has to be going on somewhere with them, because it's not me that's causing big fluctuations in loading speeds from one day to the next!]

¹The theme’s name is Victorian Xmas. Mel Pedley developed it. I removed the Christmas season look and gave it a garden touch by adding ivy leaves. The delicate wildlife reflects my nature (although I probably write like a nasty critter sometimes).

Cat a Tonic

  • Posted on January 25, 2010

Swirly
Catsnap
Two Some
Dognap
Goofy Dreams

On some Saturday evenings, Puzzles is busy warming up our guest’s jacket. She’d love to read a good book, if only her eyes would quit swirling around long enough to find one!

When it’s raining heavily outside, what else is there to do other than flatten out the cushions on the sofa tops?

Puzzles and Oliver are up on sunny days being entertained by the birds at their feeder.

Rascal is the third wheel. Good thing she has Goofy¹ to keep her company!

¹I’m goofy.

Aspectrum

  • Posted on January 20, 2010

Four days have gone by since I accidentally did something stupid that I can now talk about, if I keep it brief and make fun of it. Most people like things brief, but maybe not goofy. Let me begin by not recommending Hydrochloric Acid for cleansing the eyes.

This →Lysol Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner is not this! →Visine

They both clean, but one puts redness in while the other takes it out. Besides redness, the one on the left can do all kinds of fun stuff. It can permanently blind you, cause glaucoma to develop, etc., but what it won’t do is enhance your sleep if you’ve got a hypersensitive nervous system!

Aspies are accident prone as it is, but imagine an Aspie functioning under sleep deprivation. It leads to more accidents, usually the kind that affect one’s ability to sleep, which then lead to more accidents. I think I’m safe if I stay on my chair here in front of my desk.

Since it’s genetically evident that Aspergers is not a form of autism, I propose a different spectrum. Call it the Aspectrum; call those on it Aspectrumites.

An aspect is a particular way in which something can be viewed by the mind. Neurotypicals don’t have aspects like Aspies.

A spectacle is someone noticeably unusual (different). High-functioning Aspectrumites would be those who conform to a neurotypical culture in a way that’s more satisfying to the NT standard. Low-functioning Aspectrumites would be enigmas (e.g., me) who are less influenced by NTs and more non-conforming,¹ so we’d be considered by others as functioning in a less comprehensible manner.

A spectacle is also something that can be seen or viewed, especially something of a remarkable or impressive nature. It’s remarkable to be able to see, especially with both eyes after one of them gets a dosage of a chemical that’s claimed to cause irreversible eye damage. Eye’m still irritated and sore at m’eye self. I speculate that someday soon my mind will spectacularly quit focusing on things related to you know what.

¹For example, in the case of emergencies (and non-emergencies too; e.g., childbirth), I don’t even go there where others can ask me questions. I’m the one who makes the inquiries (under my terms) and the decisions, especially when it comes to the body God has loaned to me for His use. As they say, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” My dad was just like me. So are eccentrics, according to David Weeks. He says, “In Great Britain, where health care is free, the average person goes to the doctor twice a year, while eccentrics will typically go for eight or nine years without seeking medical help.”

P.S. — My son just reminded me of another similar accident. His words were,

Remember when you put Sweet Breath® drops in your eye because you thought it was Visine®?

Sweet Breath Drops

Nor is this for eye enhancement!

Saturday Nights

  • Posted on January 11, 2010

At our house, it kind of looks like this. ↓

What could be more entertaining than two rednecks socializing on Saturday nights?

Whatever Works

  • Posted on October 8, 2009

When you’re an Aspie in a neurotypical world, understanding others and being understood is constant work. It’s even work between two Aspies.

Woopie do!… I watched the third episode of NBC’s Community last Thursday, October 1st.¹ I also saw on the show’s website, in its Message Boards section, an individual insisting that the character Abed cannot possibly be an Aspie based on the fact that he has friends in the show’s plot. It is not normal for an Aspie to have friends, but whoever said that sitcoms completely reflect reality? Despite how unrealistic films can get, treasures can sometimes be dug out when an episode is dissected.

In the Introduction to Film episode, Abed takes an introduction to film class with Britta’s financial help, but must deal with his father’s disapproval. To fully comprehend the significance of my favorite quotes that are from Chapter 3: Family Drama [15:36 to 19:28], the entire video should be seen.

Abed’s Dad didn’t want to financially support Abed to receive an education in film making. Britta didn’t like that, so she donated her money to Abed so he could pursue his passion. Abed then bought expensive film equipment and went wild with his unconventional filming methods, which didn’t include going to film class. Jeff and Britta, along with others in the show, could not figure out why Abed seemed to be acting so irresponsibly. Britta, Jeff, and Abed’s Dad, were angrily at their wit’s end when Abed commanded them all to sit down and view his finished production.

Needless to say, they were all surprised by what they saw (never be too sure about anything when it comes to the way an Aspie thinks). They had no idea Abed was using Jeff to portray his father, while Britta was unknowingly representing Abed’s mother, so he could get his Dad to understand his feelings. After they viewed the emotion stirring video, here are some of their words:

[18:32 to 18:44] Abed’s Dad: “My son is hard to understand. If making movies helps him be understood, then I pay for the class.”

[19:00 to 19:15] Britta: “Abed, did you do all of that to me on purpose? But that’s not a very nice way to treat your friends.” Abed: “Well Britta, it isn’t called friend business. It’s called show business.”

Whatever works is what Aspies do. For me, it wasn’t film. My episode is “Introduction to Blogging” (not on film however). It goes like this:

Sheila takes time for her blogging with David’s financial help, but must deal with her husband’s (and everyone else’s²) disapproval.

David: “My wife is hard to understand. If blogging helps her be understood, then I will stop insisting she use her time leftover from doing chores/duties towards writing potentially popular books to sell.

A neurotypical woman waiting inside the Schoonmaker’s residence for Mr. David Schoonmaker to end his phone conversation before he talks with her: “Sheila, do you work?”

Sheila: “Well Diane, I haven’t broke down yet.”

A 20 yr. old Aspie son wanting his Mom (i.e., me) to watch a funny YouTube video entitled “kids and the marshmallow test” tells her: “Type in kids space…”

Mom automatically types in the search engine’s form window, “kids space” and the kid (i.e., my son watching over my shoulder) bursts out laughing and says, “Mom, I can’t believe you just did that!” Mom replies, “Did what?” A second later, Mom laughs too, after realizing he didn’t mean the word space but rather the space bar on the keyboard.

¹Community is now on at 8 PM EST every Thursday.

²People offline don’t encourage my blogging. It’s as if my blog is taboo to discuss.  People online are the opposite.

Postscript added on 3.5.10 — I’ve probably missed seeing more than half the episodes since Community began to air on NBC, but as of this past Thursday, it appears I was being over-judgmental too soon. I’m glad to see that the main character Abed is being portrayed accurately as an Aspie and is being presented in a positive light.

Football to an Aspie

  • Posted on August 13, 2009

Last night was the first time I ever saw anything like this one minute video clip from the 2nd episode of the 3rd series for the IT Crowd involving football. Its the absolute best portrayal of how I’d be at a football game too (along with many other popular neurotypical social functions)!

Since my best friend (an Aspie guy in the U.K.) linked me to this YouTube video, it has me wonder what percentage of Aspies think and feel the same way as Moss (and those like me) about such things as football games.

I’m sure this same level of distaste for football isn’t limited to (God only knows how many) Aspies. There are some neurotypicals who probably share these same thoughts about football. However, I doubt NTs would say they’d rather be weird than act like everyone else (especially since they generally are ‘pack’ creatures who crave to fit in with some clique and are terrified of traveling through life solo). I also should add that there probably are some Aspies who love watching sports like football (I’m not personally aware of any yet).

Richard Ayoade plays the character Maurice Moss. By just viewing this one minute clip, along with reading Wikipedia’s brief description of Moss’s character, that I’d have to agree Moss is an Aspie. He is described as being highly intelligent, lacks¹ social skills, is a “standard nerd” who struggles to communicate with anything that doesn’t have a keyboard, and lives at home with his mother, who also dresses him².

In case if viewers of this clip can’t comprehend the fact that there are many people with higher levels of intelligence who simply are too smart to surrender a vital part of who they are simply to accommodate those who don’t get why others are different, then I guess its something Aspies are going to have to vigorously attempt to educate society about. If this statement sounds arrogant, then I must be unintelligent because I cannot think of any other way to say what NEEDS to be said.

I’m thankful for my friend introducing me to some more British humor! In my opinion, it’s the best!… along with ‘having’ weird and a sweet style! This little ‘football’ clip is a keeper for me. It will always lift my spirits!

Postscript — This too from Wikipedia that shouts absurdity and discrimination:

Despite the company’s dependence on their services, they [Moss and Roy] are despised, ignored, and considered losers by the rest of the staff.

Parents be aware of the probable package that comes with being eager to have a genius child. You might think it would make you proud, but in reality, most likely your child shall suffer life being despised, ignored, and considered a loser. Monk types are another example.

There is a huge difference between being able to regurgitate massive amounts of information stored in memory (knowledge gained by education) versus being able to create (generate) novel³ thoughts.

¹To say he ‘lacks’ social skills is a misleading description, because that’s merely popular opinion and relative. If Moss was in an Aspie culture, his social skills would be wonderful. Any neurotypical in an Aspie culture would be the one sorely lacking social skills.

²Most Aspies can dress themselves just fine without anyone else’s help.

³Novel as in new or unusual in an interesting way.

Hen Humor

  • Posted on June 10, 2009


(Don’t worry, our eggs are not fertile…and our organic chickens are never allowed to drink cocktails.)

The above is a cartoon off of a carton of organic eggs. Can anyone see the humor in it that I do?

Now if I understand the motive correctly behind this gimmick, it’s to ease the consciences of those who would be disturbed to think that they might be eating little chicks which have not had the opportunity to hatch yet. Most of these types of people though don’t mind that unborn babies get torn apart when they’re sucked out of the womb before they’ve had a chance to be born.

The humor I find behind this cartoon is that I wonder how many people stop to think long enough to realize why there typically are so few roosters around to fertilize the hen’s eggs before they’re laid.

Those in the egg produce business purchase hens… well, because most know that roosters don’t lay eggs, right? Well then how do they know they’re buying hens and not roosters?

Ever hear of the term chick sexing? Most of the males (roosters) are disposed of within days of their hatching because they are irrelevant to egg production.

The term for this type of disposal is called chick culling. You can read about these different methods employed for killing roosters, but then you might feel insulted the next time you see a cartoon like this one on a carton of eggs.

No wonder most people prefer to remain ignorant. It’s so much more pleasant.

Moo Funny

  • Posted on June 8, 2009

What are people thinking who want ultra-pasteurized milk? Do they think it means cows have spent more time in the pasture?

I know most who use computers and the internet probably know that’s not what it means, but do they realize that the pasteurization process removes nutrition that’s needed by the human body?

Read the raw milk facts and learn what real milk is! And while you’re at it, don’t think homogenization is healthy either. It doesn’t even qualify as food. Would you eat a cow pie?

Monomania

  • Posted on June 3, 2009

Question:

Since Aspies are such mono-taskers, why is it that a monocultural lifestyle is more popular among the multi-tasking neurotypicals?

(This twit thinks he’s getting educated by watching news specials and/or talk shows like Oprah, Larry King Live, etc., who then think they’re getting the truth from Autism Speaks, who does not allow autistics to speak and is controlled by mega-buck corporations like Toys ‘R Us, etc.   Bottom line? → Money is loved and people are used.)

Answer:

Ding! Neurodiversity doesn’t fit with a monocultural lifestyle. That’s why.

leafing

Postscript — If this joke is offensive to NTs, it’s not meant to be. As I’ve said before with some of my other humor, it’s how I sometimes cope with things beyond my control.

For example, that unavoidable small talk question: “Do you work?” No matter how I reply, the response I almost always get is, “Some of us have to work.” or it’s, “Some of us can’t afford the luxury of staying at home.”

The last time I heard this sort of response, it came from a person who should know better than to talk down to an Aspie. But then, what else should I expect from an ignorant and insensitve¹ ‘educated’ NT who is too mind blind to realize she’s being insulting by telling me that I’m ‘diseased’?

¹That’s the way my NT husband described her.


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