Does it make sense it would be God’s mercy to have someone very special taken away? It didn’t feel like God’s mercy at all at the time. It hurt deeply. How could something so painful be an act of love by God? God knew how much I craved to have a connection with another human being. Someone who would know me and understand me so well that words were not needed. But yet we conversed constantly. Our thoughts paralleled so close we’d finish each other’s sentences. Never again would I know another human being with such faith in God as his. In a way, his faith introduced me to the reality of God.

We both knew God predestined us to meet. We both also knew He would not allow us to remain together. So why would it be God’s mercy to take away what seemed to end our loneliness? I can’t speak for this other person, but I can finally answer why it was merciful for me.

God, in His love, had me to suffer loneliness throughout most of my life so I could discover that Jesus is all I need. I’m not saying relationships with others are never necessary. How else can others know love if we don’t love one another? But, no one knows [agape/unconditional] love before knowing God’s love. I’m not talking about hearing about it. I’m talking about experiencing it. It’s what Job [42:5] means by saying, “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now (‘as if’) my eye sees You.”

To love only others who will love us back is conditional love. To love the unlovable displays the kind of love Christ displayed at the cross when he said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” [Luke 23:34]

God, in His mercy, gave me intense and prolonged loneliness. Without it, I never would have understood what Job meant when he finally became silent before God.

Usually, we can love others best by being available for them. However, there are certain situations in which the best way to love someone is to remain unavailable. Being unavailable doesn’t mean not continuing to pray. Jesus was taken away from us so that He could send us His comforter (so we can be filled with the Holy Spirit). Before Christ was crucified, He prayed [John 17:21], “That they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us.”

Jesus did say [John 16:7], “Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is good for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send him to you.”

Sometimes I must say the same message to others. Sometimes it is good for me to go away from them. If I remain, they may chose to not seek the Comforter. Being departed, I can pray. If God is not drawing them to Him, they will not sincerely seek salvation.² If that’s the case, at least I know it’s not because I was where and with whom I shouldn’t have been, when I shouldn’t have been there.

Relationships in this world are temporary. Some last longer than others. Some are restricted to a limited number of allotted portions of time. Long ones may lack what brief encounters contain. It is not for us to question God’s ways. We are to trust and obey. God only knows why we have what we do and don’t have what we don’t. It is what it is because He knows what He is doing.

¹Contrition or contriteness (from the Latin contritus ‘ground to pieces, i.e. crushed by guilt) is sincere and complete remorse (i.e. regret with a sense of guilt) for sins one has committed. The remorseful person is said to be contrite.

It is a key concept to Christianity, who can then seek divine forgiveness through the act of repentance towards God, through Christ, the only mediator between man and God [1 Timothy 2:5]. It is a prerequisite to divine forgiveness and regeneration. Its elements comprise of hatred and regret for ones sin, a desire for God over sin, and faith in Christ’s atonement on the cross and it’s sufficiency for salvation.

Exhortations to the value and necessity for repentance are quite common: “I desire not the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live” [Ezekiel: 33, 11]; “…But unless you repent, you too will perish.” [Luke 13:5]. It always implies a recognition of wrong done to God, a detestation of the evil wrought, and a desire to turn from evil and do good. This is clearly expressed in Psalm 51:1-12.

²They may mistakenly think they don’t need it or already have it.

To me, being up on that mountain was paradise. It was heavenly to be without the noises and smells of civilization. The richness of the oxygen in the air was impossible to miss. Being in the lush jungle made me feel healthier than ever! The scent of flowers was everywhere! Every basic necessity of life felt like a luxury. Breathing became a difference experience. The native fruit and coffee was unlike anything I could have imagined tasting! That pure of an environment combined with my intense sensitivity must have been what it was like for Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

(Click images for full view.)

Before having gone to Panama, I was told there exists a place where I would be accepted. Now decades later I know why it’s the most remote areas, non-conformed to modern society. Aspies think differently. So do those who are not civilized. Civilized societies are supposedly advanced and more polished. Advanced and polished are subjective terms. I’d rather say societies change.

After learning about Aspergers five years ago, it makes sense to me how I’d fit in a lot better among a highly foreign culture than one I’m native to. The inhabitants of the area where I stayed on Volcán Barú relished my company. Even though we spoke different languages, acceptance was clearly communicated. My favorite memory of the people there is the sound of their laughter. It was contagious and deeper than any I’ve ever heard before.

Normally when others are laughing and you’re not, it’s insulting. It’s a sign you’re being laughed at. But, it’s not always insulting when you’re being laughed at. An example of this was when I was learning to speak Spanish from a translation book I brought with me on this journey. A young school girl sat beside me as I read out loud what was in Spanish from my book. It was my first attempt at speaking Spanish. There were native adults within hearing distance observing what I was doing. Rarely were they not observing me.

As I was verbalizing Spanish for the first time in my life, laughter began to roar around me. I had no idea what was so funny. I got told it was because I was shocking everyone (including the guy who told me this). They didn’t expect me to sound exactly like someone indigenous to their culture. If I was not seen and only heard speaking their language, they’d never know I was a foreigner. I thought I had said something incorrectly which provoked laughter. It was the opposite. After I began laughing, they’d laugh even harder.

Being there provided a lot of opportunities for joking around. When down in Boquete, a phone was given to me to take back up the mountain. The guy said, “Give me a call when you get up there.” Lines for electricity or rapid means of communication didn’t exist where I stayed. Nor did roads past a certain point. It was primitive, as in dirt floor, grass covered huts. The only building not like that was the rustic cabin constructed after my arrival. I didn’t ask for special treatment. It’s what others wanted to do for me.

The women wanted to wash my clothes. People wanted to give in every way they could. They didn’t want me doing anything for them other than to stay there and not leave. They knew I loved horses, so one was brought there for me to have. Someone had even carried a toilet up the mountain to bring to the cabin I was staying in. That too was off-beat humor sending everyone (including myself) into stitches of laughter.

When I left though, it was with painful tears. It still saddens my heart to be gone from there. At least I have my memories of what once was. A special time is something that can never come back to the way it was once it’s gone.

Wikipedia’s info on Volcán Barú –

The Volcán Barú (also Volcán de Chiriqui) is the tallest mountain in Panama and is 3,474 metres (11,398 ft) high. It lies about 35 km off the border of Costa Rica.

Due to its height and Panama’s relatively short width, it is possible to see both the Pacific Ocean and Caribbean Sea from Volcán Barú’s peak on a clear day.

Volcán Barú is a dormant, but potentially active volcano just south of the Continental Divide in the western Chiriquí Province. It is surrounded by a fertile area of cool highlands drained by the Chiriquí and Caldera rivers. The towns of Volcan and Cerro Punta can be found on its western side, while Boquete is on the eastern flank.

The occasional fall of hail or ice pellets has been reported on the summit, where the minimal temperature can be below 0°C (32°F) and the formation of frost is frequent during the dry season.

The last major eruption of the volcano was about 500 AD. There are reports and some evidence of a minor eruption around 1550 AD. However, in 2006, an earthquake swarm occurred underneath the mountain, raising fears that it could erupt sometime in the future with explosive force.

Wikipedia’s info on Boquete —

Boquete is a small town on the Caldera River, tucked into the green mountain highlands of Panama, in western-most Chiriquí Province, about 60 km. from the border with Costa Rica. Because of its altitude, some 1,200 metres above sea level, its climate is cooler than that of the lowlands. Its scenic location, temperature, and natural environment make it extremely popular with Panamanians, and attracts tourists from all over the world.

Some of its landmarks include nearby Volcán Barú, a dormant volcano and, at 3,475 meters, the tallest point of land in Panama. Hikers enjoy a relatively easy hike up and over the volcano, along the Sendero de los Quetzales, which runs from Boquete up to Cerro Punta and Volcan, on the other side of the volcano. Boquete is well known for its coffee, judged to be among the finest in the world. The Caldera River runs through the town, a river that has shaped much of its form.

Children must first show signs of respect towards their parents before they are allowed the privilege of gaining an explanation for why their parents do what they do. To give an explanation when the child wants it rather than giving it when the parent deems s/he is ready to receive it subtly empowers the child and weakens respect towards the parent.

Reb Bradly points out in his book,

A chief characteristic of those in authority is that they are not accountable to those under their control. In fact, the first sign that they have lost control is that they feel the need to constantly explain themselves to those they oversee.

Consider psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, counselors, and social workers. They would never think they are accountable. Almost always, those they oversee constantly have to explain themselves to these certified do-gooders. Those who mental health organizations don’t have the authority to control get disrespected in other ways. I’m specifically thinking about adult Aspies.

What compounds this loss of respect towards Aspies that’s caused by unequal authority is the overestimated trustworthiness given to these bookly educated rulers by sheeple. Without thinking critically, sheeple automatically accept what they hear and read. This doesn’t help Aspies to be respected in society. It’s ironic that NTs think Aspies need to be trained to not be rude but yet most of them are rude to Aspies on a regular basis.

For example, throughout my entire life (including adulthood) everyone expected me to be submissive to them. From the day I was born, this was the case. To me, it was my normal way of life. I didn’t even realize it was happening. I didn’t notice no one asked me what I wanted or that I unquestioningly did things the way they wanted. I was trained to come if called, as like a dog.

Had I been properly trained, I would have been taught to know how manipulative people behave. It would have spared me from remaining so naïve and vulnerable for way too long. It wasn’t until after becoming 54 years old I briefly began to receive some desperately needed relationship coaching. It lasted for a couple of years.

This excellent relationship coach of mine told me that people with self-imposed authority do not want you to expect them to come to you. If they do come, it is on their terms, their time, and their way. The same principle applies to contact. They call the shots. If the submissive one dares to do so, she better not expect compliance. It’s all about control and dominance; just like hens with an established pecking order.

It also took me a very long time to realize no one ever explained themselves to me, at least not to the degree I would. If I’d get something from them, it would be mind gamers’ excuses. What others always get from me is the truth. I had become conditioned to explain myself. I even know when it’s wanted before the other person does. It was always a one-way street.

That would explain my habit of being submissive to my children for too long. I wasn’t even aware that my children were training me. If only I had Reb Bradley’s child training book as soon as I could read, my life may have developed radically different! Even if I didn’t have the book, hearing the quote “Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it,” would have helped a lot.

( ← Click to read enlarged view.)

When you’re guilty of trespassing a boundary in a relationship, a confession, apology, and an explanation is required if there is to be hope for reconciliation. The reason for chaos between Aspies and neurotypicals has a lot to do with violating the Golden Rule of doing unto others as you would have others do unto you.

In a society where Aspergers is not honored,¹ the more Aspies explain themselves to neurotypicals, the less neurotypicals will respect them.

Unless respect already is displayed towards Aspies, Aspies are only digging their hole deeper by explaining themselves.² If this was not so, then neurotypicals would be publishing books to explain their weird and illogical behavior to Aspies. I don’t hate NTs, but I also don’t respect most of them either because of how often they’re constantly violating my boundaries.

It’s time for Aspergers to be respected as much as neurotypicalism is. The only way I can see equality manifesting itself would be if Aspies have the same amount of control as NTs do. So far, what mostly exists on the magazine racks, books stores, radio, televised media, and newspapers, is still unbalanced.

¹It is not honorable to be written about in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

²Especially to most who are involved in the mental health industry and mega organizations like Autism Speaks.

Read the Comments of a post published on September 10, 2009 asking, Is Autism Speaks Mis-Spending Its Money? Your Opinion Requested. Combine what those commenters say with what autismvotes.org’s news for September 30, 2011 about Obama signing an act that authorizes Autism Speaks to help themselves to $693 million for the next three years so their head honchos can live even more lavishly at the expense of taxpayers.

We already knew Autism Speaks is about eugenics. But did you also realize Autism Speaks is so greedy that, according to its 2010 annual report, its management salaries add up to more than half the proceeds of its fundraising walks? Nonprofit charity is what it isn’t.

Most definitely, the fear of death causes slavery. Every kind of slavery. Not just the kind the video portrays. We become slaves to our own lusts.

What starts within us ends up externally controlling us. That is the symptom of the disease called human nature.

Those who are on the government’s payroll are the empowered slaves of the government. They, along with those who depend on the government’s financial assistance, will oppose citizens who earn their income for living independent of the government.

The government wants enough of a portion of society to depend on it so that its dependents will keep citizens divided. Citizens divided enable the government to use everyone as slaves to serve its corrupt purposes.

Citizens dependent upon taxpayers for a living are fearful of people who undistortedly see the whole picture. Being brave enough to look exposes the painful reality of what I’ve said, “There are two groups of people: those riding in the wagon and those pulling it. Sooner or later, the team pulling won’t be able to handle the overloaded wagon.”

The team that’s forced to pull the wagon is the one which wants to oppose the abuse of the entire political system. Naturally, government employees (e.g., in social services, public schools/health care/highway maintenance, police, military, etc.) will not readily admit how they contribute to the abuse of the system because they depend on it.

As soon as rebellion starts, those who have been given authority by the government relish every opportunity to attack their fellow citizens seeking freedom from slavery. Their power and fear will blind them to seeing how standing united behind “Enough is enough. We won’t take any more!” will ultimately also free them from the bonds created by the corruption of politics.

Those who can really see what’s wrong will not be deceived into thinking revolutionaries are the enemy. It is the non-revolutionaries who promote corruption.² If you’re not revolting against a corrupt system, you’re promoting it. Citizens who don’t join the courageous who stand for what’s right are against it. If we don’t fight malignancy as a team, it will kill the entire body of humanity.

Indoctrination destroys a nation. This cancerous indoctrination procedure begins in government school; from pre-kindergarten all the way on through State Colleges. Evolution is supported because it does nothing to give students a backbone. The Bible is feared because it may entice students to have courage to stand up for what’s right.

An atheist stated, “From a metaphysical point of view, it may be the case that everyone is ultimately free, and when we fully realize this, the artificial constraints created by the “matrix” (governments, religions, limiting belief systems, etc.) will fall away.” What he fails to see is that the most limiting belief system comes from not believing what God says in the Bible. That is why he can’t see what the solution is to the video on “The Story of Your Enslavement.” There is no solution as long as Christianity is sought to be suppressed.

When America began, mostly everyone agreed, “In God we trust.” As faith died, so did freedom. It takes real faith to stand up against torture and death. Terrorists have faith. They don’t fear death. The government knows how to manipulate malicious faith to its advantage.

This video containing a dim view of “democracy” ends with a bird flying away and these words,

Wake up. To see the farm is to leave it.

Leave it how? We can’t fly away like that bird at the end of the video!

The Pilgrims on the Mayflower came to America to seek freedom. We, who share their same insightful desire for freedom, no longer have anyplace left in this world to start anew. Does the world think Christians are willing to be passive now?

We see truth in the video, but only enough truth to perpetuate enslavement.³ The truth that sets us free is omitted. We can only live if we are willing to die. If we don’t have the kind of truth to die for, we are already dead. The walking dead scavenging off of the carcasses of humanity.

Our fight is not against people on earth but against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world’s darkness, against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly world. — Ephesians 6:12

¹Using the word “Your” rather than “Our” displays a divided mentality.

²Being a revolutionary falls on a spectrum. Basically, any non-conforming critical thinker is a revolutionary. Parents who home school their children are one example. A shopper who refuses to get a “convenient shoppers’ card” when shopping in a big corporate store is another. Someone wise enough to know not to contribute to the politics behind big-scale organizations like Autism Speaks and the Autism Society of America, along with numerous other corporations taking advantage of situations where complete accountability is impossible, revolutionizes the way irresponsible behavior is handled. The Amish are revolutionaries at one range of the scale; supporters of the Second Amendment are at another; both are on the same team to combat the exploitation of humans.

³Why would Satan change his classic tactic to destroy humanity when it’s working so well?

Read the Comments of a post published on September 10, 2009 asking, Is Autism Speaks Mis-Spending Its Money? Your Opinion Requested. Combine what those commenters say with what autismvotes.org’s news for September 30, 2011 about Obama signing an act that authorizes Autism Speaks to help themselves to $693 million for the next three years so their head honchos can live even more lavishly at the expense of taxpayers.

We already knew Autism Speaks is about eugenics. But did you also realize Autism Speaks is so greedy that, according to its 2010 annual report, its management salaries add up to more than half the proceeds of its fundraising walks? Nonprofit charity is what it isn’t.

After having read the movie’s description, I had to watch the movie. I intuitively knew this story was going to begin the process of unlocking a lot of my lifetime mysteries. I just didn’t know how it was going to happen or what else the future would be revealing to me.

I even heard my ‘Mackey’ say to a relative of mine who ‘talks down’ to me the same way as Francis did to Martha, “Did it ever occur to you that maybe what she may need is a little kindness?” (Francis was a domineering and manipulative aunt.) So naturally, after experiencing the movie, I had to read the book. I had no way of knowing how many pieces God was giving me before I would be discovering how Aspergers was the piece I was missing to explain why my life is so different from mostly everyone else.

Mary McGarry Morris wrote the novel “A Dangerous Woman.” Reading that book was the same experience for me as reading “Mozart and the Whale” and “Housekeeping.” I could strongly relate to all those books and their movie versions. It wasn’t until reading “Mozart and the Whale” did I know Aspergers was the common thread they share.

In hindsight, it seems a strange coincidence for me to have been reading this book on the 1st anniversary of my father’s death.³ The memory of his funeral was still fresh in my mind. My experience was not unlike Martha’s in the novel. The people attending were dry-eyed chatty mourners who were friends of my ‘Frances’. The one individual who I mistook as being my friend must have attended my father’s funeral just to see out of curiousity who would be there for me. After that day, she vanished and made sure I wouldn’t ever be able to contact her. I’d hardly call that a friend.

People describing “A Dangerous Woman” say Martha is ‘slow’, ‘dim-witted’, and ‘mentally ill’. In the film, Martha’s Aunt [Francis Beecham] sums up Martha’s ‘disability’ well when she says, “She just doesn’t lie… that’s all.” The key words are, “that’s all.” That is what makes Martha different.

People dislike people not like themselves. The narrator in the film’s trailer hits the nail on the head when he says, “Sometimes being different can be dangerous.” I’m assuming he meant Martha is dangerous. The editorial review of the book on amazon.com from the Library Journal by Doris Lynch says,

What makes Martha a dangerous woman is her unfailing honesty; she hasn’t learned the world’s way of lying, of hiding behind a social mask. At one point Birdy, her friend, tries on Martha’s glasses to see if she really does view the world differently.

Amazon’s editorial review mentality fits with the world’s view that someone who isn’t a liar is ‘slow’, ‘dim-witted’, and ‘mentally ill’. God says in The Bible that someone who does not conform [Romans 12:2] to the world’s way of lying, of hiding behind a social mask, is someone who has a sound mind [2 Timothy 1:7]. The world tries to say it’s necessary for us to be liars and, more importantly, to be like everyone else. People like people like themselves.

← (Click on book’s blurb to enlarge for reading.)

What should be pointed out is that society is equally as dangerous to someone who is different. The movie omits vital parts of Martha’s earlier life. She was sexually humiliated as a teenager by being gang-raped.

The movie also leaves out Colin Mackey telling Martha what it is that people don’t like about her. Martha could not understand why no one liked her. Mackey told her, “It’s not so much that people don’t like you, but rather dislike your ability to see them.” Martha’s struggle was caused by the conflict between her always being honest versus everyone else portraying themselves to be socially acceptable. It’s ironic that people didn’t believe her while yet everyone knew her “problem” was that she was too honest.

Mackey tries to get Martha to understand that people don’t always care to see what a liar or how evil someone is, even if they’re personally involved with the person. I still find it shocking to believe that people choose to not want to know the truth. It seems illogical, foolish, detrimental to society, irresponsible, and wrong.

Martha gets anxious when having to make decisions in situations like when she’s at the checkout counter being asked, “Paper or plastic?” Not all Aspies are uptight. Besides different genetic make-ups, life experiences hugely affect how Aspies differ from other Aspies. In “Housekeeping,” the (Aspie) character Aunt Sylvie is laid-back and relaxed. In both fiction stories, people in the community disdain Martha and Sylvie for being different. In the non-fiction story “Mozart and the Whale,” Mary Meinel-Newport and Jerry Newport also face disdain for the same reasons. Mary is like Sylvie in her carefree attitude. Jerry is like Martha in being anxious. What makes the difference is how much they care what others think about them.

People dislike people not like themselves. What makes someone dangerous is unfailing honesty? Someone who hasn’t learned the world’s way of lying? Someone incapable of hiding behind a social mask? What then are lying, manipulative, character disordered con artists? Safe and to be trusted? Have so many people become character disordered that those who are not character disordered bother the consciences of those who are? Is that what makes trustworthy people dangerous? Is that why completely honest people are trusted the least?

¹Matthew 19:14, “…for it is to those who are childlike that the Kingdom of the Heavens belongs.”

²Women may enjoy being romanced by a man, including asexuals. Martha is not asexual. Asexuality is a sexual orientation belonging to individuals who do not experience sexual attraction. Celibacy is a choice. Asexuality is not.

³Whoa!… I just realized that my father died on this same day of the year I’m composing this post (Jan. 18)! I found his blackened burned body two days after he died.

Love is proven not by how we treat our friends, but how we treat those who oppose us.

God loves those who deserve to be judged and condemned. In His eyes, we all deserve to be judged and condemned.

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?

Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

If we personally reject God’s unmerited love, it will be evident by our contentment to find fault in those whom we don’t like.

Whoever would rather forfeit eternal life than give up being self-righteous foolishly trusts in themselves and privily despises others. Only the humble will say, “God be merciful to me a sinner.”

The power of any mind game lies in the other person not being aware of how and when they’re being played.

Below is an excerpt from a paper written on June 11, 2009 by a neurotypical relative of mine. Little did she know how much this bit of information was the pot of gold at the end of my ‘lifetime of tears’ rainbow.

Whether we admit it or not, the Neurotypical human nature is guilty of manipulation because we are driven by selfish ulterior motives. It’s a social battlefield where manipulation is just another grenade in our hands. I’m not saying Aspies are incapable of manipulation but the driving force is usually not there. What I got from [Sheila] was truth.

Ironically, [Sheila's] lack of manipulation caused me to be a pro at manipulating her. [Sheila] was an easy, wide open target due to her naïve Aspie nature. I played her like a fiddle and took all the [dominance] I could get.

Beside there being a neurological difference in people, there are character differences. Society, in general, is becoming less neurotic and more character disordered. Genuine Christians can be neurotic, but they can’t be character disordered. Non-Christians can be either one.

Not everyone who is character disordered necessarily gets worse over time. Most do. Some remain the same. Some even become less character disordered as they age. My neurotypical husband is one of the later. When he married me, he married a classic neurotic Aspie. Romance and courtship was not part of the equation for my experience with him. Instead, it was non-stop tribulation.

In hindsight, I now see I married my husband because of my vulnerabilities. His powerful demeanor attracted me. I had never allowed anyone to abuse me the way he did. The turning point came (after 9 years of marriage) when I was corned and he wanted to kill me. I sincerely told him he would be doing me a favor. That action caused his true self to come to light. He made a threat and didn’t follow through on it. It exposed him for who he really was. He never wanted me to know him. He still doesn’t. But, being that we’ve been married now for 24 years, he doesn’t need to say any words for me to know him. I know him by his actions. Now his actions subtly reveal appreciation for my loyalty, meekness, forgiveness, honesty, and love. Proof of his character disorder fading away comes from the fact he now has shame for how he has been. He needed (as we all do) humility and love. I don’t know if it is my commitment to marriage till death do us part or God’s love which softened his heart. What little warm affection I had towards my husband rapidly diminished. He wasn’t a loveable guy. I know I’m not a lovable person in God’s eyes. I know no one is. If we were, we wouldn’t need Christ’s sacrifice of love for us. As Martin Luther, the Protestant Reformer, wisely said, “It is not imitation which makes us sons of God, rather the divine image within which enables us to imitate.”

All of life is a test of our character. I think of myself as being a retired fiddle. I didn’t want to be a fiddle in the hands of manipulators. I was that way because I am childlike. I’ve been, and always will be, harmless as a dove, as Jesus tells us to be in Matthew 10:16. It is because he also says in that verse we are to be wise as serpents, I know that I can be as wise as one. Sheep will be neurotic among wolves. The people who prey upon innocent others are character disordered.

Romans 8:28 says, “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” The experience I’ve gained from being at the receiving end of mind games throughout most of my life has been only one aspect needed for learning how Aspergers people stop being manipulated and bullied. That alone is not enough. Insightful reading material is great. But that too isn’t enough. Without faith in God’s word, I don’t know how I’d gain victory over this horrible way of having to life in this life.

I will always be a Christian and an Aspie. I will never be able to think like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It is not in my nature or my neurological construct. This does not mean I’m defective. When God created mankind, He knew what He was doing. We all are given what we need; no more, no less. I don’t need to disorder my character to be aware of how and when someone is trying to play me like a fiddle. There is a gift called, “spiritual discernment.” It is aroused instantly every time someone is trying to play a mind game. It is what enables me to be wise as serpents without being one myself.

As I’ve become wiser, I have gained the respect of my husband. He taught me how to stop being spineless. He will be the first to admit I have to speak and/or behave in a “turn over tables” manner in order for some people to hear me. Even though they may get my message, it’s not going to make them feel shame. For a shameless person to change, it takes a miracle. With God all things are possible, but only if it is His will.

In the classic book Holiness, J.C. Ryle said,

Let us feel convinced, whatever others may say, that holiness is happiness and that the man who gets through life most comfortably is the sanctified man. No doubt there are some true Christians who from ill health, or family trials, or other secret causes, enjoy little sensible comfort and go mourning all their days on the way to heaven. But these are exceptional cases.

The Bible says, “There is no peace unto the wicked.” Most of the time, wicked people act nice. They pretend to care. My inability to comprehend this has been the greatest factor for me to overcome on my journey to freedom from the mind games played on me.

Of course it’s ideal to simply have as little to do with people who display themselves as being character disordered. However, even if you can’t always be physically apart from them, it is possible to change how you are when you have to have them around. But you can’t do that unless you become an expert at detecting when and how they are bullying you. It is especially important to do when the disrespectful behavior is subtle!

Con artists (i.e., manipulators) have no lack of empathy. They know how to craftily play empathy to their advantage. Their confidence in this skill is what may give them the power to dominate and control. However, they can only have as much of this as you allow them to have. The more you can see through their act, the more power you have to resist participating in their ploy to take advantage of you in order to boost their self-esteem.

Develop your own set of tools for seeing through their act. Customize statements to throw out into a conversation which will help you to see what kind of reactions they provoke. If someone has something against you personally, she is going to say things to you she would never say to her friend. Also, pay attention to how things are said and what isn’t said.

Character disordered people do not treat you the same way they would want you to treat them. Most of all, they will do anything they can to prevent you from gaining status with them and others. The last thing they want to see is you improving (i.e., becoming stronger, wiser, healthier, etc.). Even if things in your life are not going well, that doesn’t mean you need to be miserable.

Habakkuk 3:17-19,

Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls:

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places.

As I learn more about the way minds of neurotypicals and neuro-A-typicals are said to differ, I find increasingly conflicting information. That should not happen if theories are accurate.

Some experts theorize:

1. Neurotypicals are able to multi-task. Neuro-A-typicals mono-task.

2. NATs (neuro-A-typicals) have Weak Central Coherence compared to NTs (neurotypicals).

3. NTs have executive functioning abilities, whereas with NATs it’s dysfunctional.

Are experts, like Temple Grandin, Olga Bogdashina, Uta Frith, and Daniel Simons, not getting some information proper or are they poorly explaining it?

If NATs cannot multi-task, then how can Temple Grandin claim in her book (on pages 24-25), “Animals in Translation” she is able to notice the lady in the gorilla suit in the original selective attention task video? If it’s true NATs cannot multi-task, the only way she can see the “invisible” gorilla would be if she is not counting the basketball passes. But then, if she isn’t counting, her ability to notice the gorilla isn’t unusual. Anyone who isn’t paying attention to the number of times the ball is being passed is going to see the gorilla.

If NTs are able to multi-task, then how do tests, as those in National Geographic’s episode on “Brain Games,” consistently reveal opposite results? How many people think they can drive a car while talking on a mobile phone? Just because we can drive a car doesn’t mean that our brain is capable of handling a conversation [with another person who is not in the car] while simultaneously being able to make an instant decision on a sudden unexpected event.

If NTs do not have Weak Central Coherence, then why would such a brain substitute unnoticed details with imagined ones developed from what the mind expects (and/or wants) to be there? “Central coherence” is the ability to derive overall meaning from a mass of details.¹ What kind of meaning is meant? If it doesn’t matter how reliable it is, then wouldn’t it be weak? A strong central coherence would be dependable (consistently trustworthy).

If NTs do not have Weak Central Coherence, then why do oncoming motorcyclists get hit by NT drivers making left turns if their brains are capable of deriving overall meaning from a mass of details? Could it be that the mass of details contains some erroneous information caused by filtering out ‘irrelevant’ data? If a brain automatically fills in the gaps of unperceived stimuli, how can it simultaneously decide what is irrelevant?

Is Weak Central Coherence why the illusion of attention (inattentional blindness), the illusion of memory, and change blindness blindness (being blind to seeing change blindness) exist?² Inaccurately remembering what actually happened is an illusion caused by the need to make sense out of what happened. The brain is typically geared to filter out ‘irrelevant’ data while paying attention to what grabs our interest. Can the Aspie television character Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory have an eidetic memory and weak central coherence? Or is it more accurate to say that central coherence isn’t always instant (although it is possible sometimes)? Is that why NATs may exhibit delayed responses to stimuli?

Do NATs have more to cognitively process because of perceiving situations holistically which then makes them less prone to jumping to conclusions? If that’s the case, then shouldn’t NTs be paying more attention to what NATs have to contribute in the field of mental health, especially with studies requiring observation and analysis? Olga Bagdashina describes gestalt perception as simultaneously perceiving everything as a whole, but not simultaneously processing the holistic situation.³ She says people on the autism spectrum have gestalt perception and that NTs do not. Without gestalt perception, there is less to process and more to infer.

Do NATs exhibit delayed responses to stimuli because of having more non-imagined information to process due to experiencing situations ‘holistically’? Do NATs tend to ask annoying “why” questions more often than NTs generally do because their minds sponge up explicit details? Is that why the general population wants to think of reasons on their own; making unjustified leaps from correlation to causation (coincidence), thereby suffering illusions of cause? …because their minds ‘filter out’ holistic perceptions?

Is that why on pages 165-167 of “The Invisible Gorilla,” we can be told people typically prefer to make inferences rather than having things stated explicitly? To me, it makes more sense to prefer having things stated explicitly rather than making inferences. To prefer otherwise means a person would rather not have things stated clearly and in detail, even though it would leave room for confusion or doubt. Do people who want to think of reasons on their own do so because it’s how their minds are wired, as in filling in the gaps of filtered out unperceived stimuli automatically deemed irrelevant?

Are NTs always qualified to know what, how, or when NATs should be executing functions in the same manner they do? Do NTs suffer from the illusion of knowledge? …implicitly believing they understand things at a deeper level than they really do? Do they want to believe they have mental capacities which exceed the reality of what they do have?

People under the illusion of knowledge fall prey to the illusion of confidence. That’s how ignorant people end up hiring ignorant people instead of qualified candidates. As the saying goes, it takes one to know one… except in the case of ignorant people. An ignorant person doesn’t know enough to recognize ignorance. For that individual, another ignorant person most likely will be mistakenly perceived as knowledgeable and confidence will probably be blindly interpreted as competence. Just like no one is better at finding a wrongdoer than another wrongdoer, so too no one is better at finding an excellent *____* than another excellent *____*.

The best hunters think like their prey. To best fix a leak, think like a water drop. To best decide whether or not executive functioning is functional or dysfunctional, think like those who function differently from yourself. If you can’t, then don’t be subjective when creating labels. What’s subjective? Using words like disabled or weak. Objective terminology would employ terms like differently enabled or alternative central coherence or unique executive functioning.

If you can’t grasp the point I’m trying to make, can that be confirming what I’m saying all the more? If you do comprehend it, nothing more needs to be said.

¹Weak Central Coherence Theory of autism is a term Uta Frith came up with in 1989.

²These, along with other illusions, are mentioned in “the invisible gorilla” by Chabris and Simons. These phenomena are also brought to attention in National Geographic’s “Brain Games” video.

³Olga Bogdashina sheds doubt on Uta Frith’s central coherence theory in her 3-page article Fragmented World of Autism: Perception in ‘Bits’.

I feel the same way as Tina Schadenfreude Buggs (parent of a young Aspie son) states in her comment of Parenthood, “I’m tired of them viewing his Asperger’s in a negative way.” The episode “Missing” (originally aired on 11.29.11) gave another negative portrayal of Aspergers. Max ran away because he was mad. At this section of the series, he is scripted to act as a 9-year-old.

Adults act like children when they get mad. When situations permit, they will ‘run away’ differently. A spouse may ‘run away’ from ‘home’ by acquiring a job.¹ For example, a wife/mother may become fed up with her husband’s ‘inconsiderate’ behavior, excuse herself from being tabled with a ‘housewife’ position she no longer feels like fulfilling, and use the status of being a paid employee to escape. Divorce is another form of running away. Denial of wrongdoing is another. Giving the appearance of being too ‘busy’ to socialize is ‘running away’ from an honest conversation that may expose realities preferred to be kept hidden. For example, how often will someone admit to nurturing unattractive characteristics such as jealously, greediness, envy, deception, etc.?

Manipulative mind/social games (with their spoken and unspoken ‘rules’) are too common among neurotypicals for them to always be aware of how the Aspie mind functions in contrast. Shows like Parenthood are biasing the way Aspies get perceived. Who likes getting wrongly portrayed as being ‘rigid’ and ‘non-compliant’?

My NT husband said one must ask, “Are you sure?” when asking someone if they mind something being done. I told him that’s a game. There is no reason for a person to not be immediately honest when asked a question. He agreed with me, after I explained how being straightforward is logical and being expected to ask again is illogical.

A propagated message about Aspergers in Parenthood’s episode “Missing” is, “Don’t expect Max to apologize. He can’t help behaving badly. He is incapable of empathy. He is not able to understand what he is doing. He is autistic.” Hattie (Max’s sister) was on the right track to want a conversation about Max disappearing, but her timing, tone of voice, and destructively incorrect statements kept those doors shut. The parents were also wrong when they coddled Max after he came out of the police car that brought him home.

Hattie’s timing was off. Most know how much more successful it is to wait until after a person has had time to ‘unwind’ before bombarding a stressed out person with more stress.

Hattie’s tone of expression was wrong. It’s generally known how wise it is to approach situations by creating a positive feeling first. Sales people do it. It makes no difference what one’s neurological structure is. NTs and A-typicals are both capable of empathy. It’s the different thinking that needs to be acknowledged and understood. Understanding what’s unfamiliar requires willingness, effort, patience, perseverance, and time. Even then, total comprehension will not be achieved… but, the more, the better.

Hattie’s statements were inaccurate and negatively offensive. She asked Max, “Do you care?” Immediately afterwards she said, “No. You don’t care, because you never care. Max, you have to think about other people. You only think about yourself. Why do you not think about anybody but yourself? It’s so hard. It’s not fair!”

For starters, Hattie is mind blind to seeing what reason Max may feel he was treated unfairly. Max’s statement, “I didn’t get to go to the museum today,” meant nothing to Hattie. What Hattie and her parents lack Theory of Mind to comprehend is, if the shoe was on the other foot, Max would follow through on what he would agree to doing. Max felt his family cared more about what they were thinking of for themselves than what was important to him. More important than going to the museum was going to the museum at the time agreed upon with those who made the agreement with him. He ran away because he was offended and angry. He believed no one cared enough about him for him to care enough about what they thought.

The other day, a hired contractor (no, it wasn’t my husband) suddenly left a job he was doing because he got offended and angry at the person he was doing work for. He left without saying more than “F” you. The bewildered homeowner failed to see what he did to cause that unexpected event. That example includes two grown men, so of course the only consequential concerns would be business related.

When it comes to personal worrying, children don’t know what it is like to be a parent. They can be told, but that’s not the same as experiencing parenthood personally. Most people judge others harshly in situations where the other person has no clue what it is like to be in their shoes. It is human nature to expect other people to know by being told without the benefit of personally experiencing it. Too often, parents trust the care of their children to non-parents in professions such as psychology, teaching, baby-sitting, etc., too much.

If Max only thought about himself, he wouldn’t concern himself over the care of his pet lizard. Max has more control over more things than others in his family realize. Aspergers is as disabling as neurotypicalism. If Max asked his family, “Do you understand what happened today?” it is doubtful they’d be able to comprehend his logic. A 9-year-old hasn’t lived long enough to experience the world as much as an elderly person has.

Today’s society needs too see how wrong (i.e., sinful) it is to not keep our word. The Bible tells us how important it is to honor every word we speak. God always keeps His word. Jesus never failed to keep His word. If He did, He could have avoided crucifixion. Instead of abiding to His convictions, He could have rationalized an excuse for Himself. How would you like to give your life to serve a God who goes back on His word and makes excuses for doing so? Being Godly means keeping our word even in the face of death.

Genuinely, mostly everything and everyone is becoming a façade. Why is that? Could it be that most people don’t care?

¹It is different if you’re financially forced to work.

The media molds America’s image of what they want Americans to believe what success is. That’s logical. Those holding the power their media provides them have already achieved the success they know sheeple covet. They know how to do it, because that’s what possessed them towards the status they have. It would deflate their overly-esteemed self-identity when success is defined differently. Their version is worldly; void of spiritual growth. I don’t mean to imply it’s impossible for a ‘worldly successful’ individual to also be successful in the same way as Jesus Christ.

Success in God’s eyes only comes in the form of humble servitude towards His will being done with complete trust in Him for the outcome… even if that outcome looks like failure in the eye’s of the world. It takes faith to walk after the Spirit to do God’s will, especially when doing so doesn’t look like it’s going to give us our daily bread.

I don’t know anyone who would look at my life and think of me as being ‘successful’. No one ever has. Doubtfully anyone ever will. The older we are, the more intensely we’re judged by society. That terrifies most people, but it shouldn’t affect Christians.

I am a Christian. That is why I have the audacity to claim I am successful and to explain how executive functioning by association is, for some people, the only way to achieve purposes. Since my purposes revolve around God’s will and I do not usually know what God’s will is before He wants me to do a thing, planned “To Do” lists fail to produce success for me. Planning can achieve things, but God has designed everyone to be unique. Some of us are more successful functioning by association rather than planning.

I do not make aims, purposes, or goals. What I do each day is caused by me being who God leads me to be. I describe my life as being kind of like a ‘working’ pet owned by God. The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want. He leads me. I follow. I decreasingly analyze why things happen or why I do what I do. I’m learning that if I’m meant to know why, it will be revealed to me if and when it is necessary.

Temple Grandin explains in her book, Animals in Translation, how the autistic brain is more similarly structured to the brain of animals than neurotypical ones are. Animals don’t process thoughts the same way most people do.

God explains in His book, The Holy Bible, how the heart of someone born-again is broken to make him become a new creature with a new nature. A regenerated person on the autism spectrum is going to function differently from both unsaved people and from neurotypicals.

My neurotypical husband asked me in 1995 why I wanted a computer. He wanted me to justify the expense. He would never want to by a computer. He is repulsed by technology. He will never own a cell phone (I have no desire for even a regular phone, let alone a cell phone). I honestly told my husband I had no idea why I wanted a computer or what I’d do with one. I know I didn’t want one because other people were buying them. The best explanation for my desire to have one was because there was no other way for me to know what difference having a computer would make versus not having one. That same logic is what basically started my blog back in January of 2008.

16 years of computer ownership compared to 41 years of life without one reveals to me what I have succeeded to do because of having computers. Even though those successes are valuable, the ones accomplished during my pre-computer era are also significant.

Earning money and/or being famous isn’t the only way of measuring success. How much money is protected from being unnecessarily spent can be even more valuable. Increasing the quality of health (physical, mental, and spiritual), the quantity (and quality) of knowledge, gaining experience and wisdom, etc., are immense contributions to success.

In hindsight, I see a lot of God’s purposes He put in my path. Success is the accomplishment of them. I have accomplished way more in my life by doing things via association than I have by doing things via planning out goals dependent upon “To-Do” lists.

None of the accredited diplomas I achieved in certain fields of knowledge provided me with success, unless learning the hard way what doesn’t amount to any constructive use counts for some success. Traditional schools and universities are all about curriculum. By law, I had to create a curriculum to use for teaching at home, but the amount of freedom within that structure was loaded with creative learning by association.

“The World’s Most Influential Guidance Counselor” according to Inc., Magazine says Curriculum Discussion is Vapid.

Why is Homeschooling on Penelope’s Site tells about home schooled children being prepared to compete whereas old-fashioned, classroom-based educated kids won’t be. Here’s some of what she says,

Gen Z will have an education that is practical. College is widely seen as worth far less than its price tag in most cases. Graduate school is an anachronism, now seen by many (including the Chronicle of Higher Education) as a babysitting service for adults.

So I started thinking, if Gen X ers – the parents of Gen Z – are not buying into the education system, then what will happen?

The answer is that Gen Z will be homeschooled much more frequently than any generation before them, and Generation Z will understand how to synthesize data, self-direct learning, and ask the kinds of questions that make or break companies.

The portion of Generation Z that gets the old-fashioned, classroom-based education, will end up being unprepared to compete.

I completely agree with her observations regarding the outcomes of different educational methods.

Competing doesn’t just occur in the work force. I was competing with my previous hosting provider (Bluehost) for a long time, until I finally switched to a new one (Hostgator) on Black Friday (Nov. 25, 2011). I went through a similar ordeal involving the decline of good service years ago when having an account with yet a different company (Netfirms).

I wasn’t paying attention to my gut feeling when expressing thanks on my Nov. 23rd post for being ‘successful’ at significantly decreasing my CPU throttling. Fortunately, the next day was Thanksgiving. It gave me the distraction I needed to build up my intolerance towards the hosting company’s poor service. That morning, I saw my account being ridiculously throttled… again!

The fresh turkey, along with the other food I needed to cook to be eaten by me, my husband, and my son, demanded all of my attention. Being away from the computer for a day triggered me to spend the next morning online researching similar experiences of other Bluehost users. A lot ‘clicked’ that morning! It went beyond the discovery of how many and what hosting companies have been bought by the Endurance International Group (EIG).

I could have understood a lot sooner how Bluehost’s CPU Throttling functions if they honestly explained how it works. Instead, what they routinely do is put an impossible burden on users to prove Bluehost doesn’t provide enough capacity of service for what they advertise is available for use.

Practically all the technical headaches I’ve dealt with for years were the consequences of EIG! Even before the nightmares of their creation, I’ve endured countless episodes of ‘trained’ tech support employees’ repeated attempts at wrongfully putting the blame for issues upon my shoulders! God knows I needed those ‘illusions of failure’ so that I would eventually be able to ‘see’ my success in this area.

Ironically, the successes of my life are embedded with others erroneously claiming failure on my part. With success comes the fun of detecting know-it-alls and then trapping them by asking ‘if that’s so, then how come’ questions they don’t see coming and have no experience in handling. Their silence from being at a loss to know what to say is one way for me to know when I’ve become successful. That may seem impolite and mean, but actually it could be the only hope for improving things in the long run.

You’re of less value if you don’t help those, who mistakenly think their input is superior to yours, to see how reality proves otherwise.

Success is all about being a person of value. When you aim to increase the value of who you are, then success automatically exists regardless of how others may judge you.