Extracted from The Complete Works of Oswald Chambers, in his book The Moral Foundations of Life, under the chapter The Soul’s Awakening, were these words that spoke loud and clear to me about my being bothered over not being understood by neurotypical people:
By heeding the reality of God’s grace within us we are never bothered again by the fact that we do not understand ourselves, or that other people do not understand us. If anyone understood me, he would be my god. The only Being Who understands me is the Being Who made me and Who redeems me, and He will never expound me to myself; He will only bring me to the place of reality, viz., into contact with Himself, and the heart is at leisure from itself for ever afterwards.
After having thought about that, I realized how true it is. It explains the craving to be understood and to know oneself. Both things are a trap, especially because of how impossible it is to satisfy either yearning.
When I reflect upon how much torment my heart would endure because of being an Aspie in a NT world, I find Chambers’ advice awesome! I can only imagine how something like this rubs against the grain of today’s Asperger awareness movement.
I’m not saying anything against neurodiversity advocates or those opposing them. What I am saying is that I’m beginning to believe I will quietly exit out of the arena of the Asperger movement. I have no regrets being an Aspie, but the more time I spend of my life focused on Aspergers, the more I feel I’m not living up to my full potential.
I can’t think of anything better to retire from than the work of trying to get others to understand me.
The last time I went to an Asperger group meeting for adults was on December 12th of last year. If I were to continue, it would be almost three years of going. There isn’t anything much left for me to give to the group information wise about Aspergers that I haven’t already said and there isn’t anything much left for me to gain by going.
Group meetings are not like gathering together for leisure activities; such as hanging out at a pub for pizza, going on a picnic or hike, etc. A lot of time in my life was occupied in settings similar to classrooms, bible study groups, support groups, and other special interest groups (e.g., computer clubs, sportsman clubs etc.). Rarely have I been able to simply enjoy time with another person outside of some programmed or planned project that’s restricted to a scheduled time and run by a leader.
I grew up in the era of when people dropped by unexpectedly for a cup of coffee, answered their phones, and made time to do fun things together. I can’t bring them back, but I also don’t have to do things that are not satisfying to me.
Long ago, church was satisfying and I attended many different ones. Today I realized I have a pastor again and he’s bar none the best I’ve ever experienced! Just because Oswald Chambers isn’t alive anymore does not mean he can’t shepherd my soul through his words left behind in print. God did it by leaving us His word in the Bible and He can just as well keep a pastor (or chaplain, which is what Chambers was) blessing congregations after that individual has been taken home to be with the Lord.
It seems fitting that Chambers was a chaplain rather than a pastor. The basic difference between a pastor and a chaplain is that a pastor stays put in one place while a chaplain is “God on the go.” Chaplains serve people where there is no organized church.
Chambers wasn’t famous in his lifetime (1874-1917). Now he’s somewhat famous. I say somewhat because he should be more well-known than what he is by now. I can imagine why his popularity level is relatively low. One can’t read much of Chambers without it having a strong effect on his or her life. Modern Christianity wants God diluted. Chambers gives God’s message in concentrate and concentration is what it demands.
How often do you see nothing but the highest rating given by all reviewers?
How can I be an advocate for young Aspies if I do nothing with what I’ve learned about organizations which purport to help the Asperger populace? I don’t want to get involved in politics and I also don’t want to go against my conscience. The middle ground must be the Golden Rule as said in Matthew 7:12, “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.”
The organizations that have too much of a complex mixture of good and bad for me to decide which category to list them under, or are ones I’m not familiar enough yet with to be pro or con on, could possibly end up listed below what’s already here:
I realize Mr. Carley’s intentions may be good, but wisdom dictates one should exercise caution before getting involved with people who have proven themselves to be untrustworthy. Personally, I wouldn’t follow a leader who seems to be lacking in discretion. Discretion is the better part of valour [a proverb which means: it may sometimes be better to avoid a dangerous situation than to confront it].
If Mr. Carley isn’t confronting Autism Speaks, as they deserve to be, then that’s even worse. Either GRASP needs Autism Speaks or Autism Speaks needs GRASP and whoever is the needy one ends up the loser. I can’t see how Autism Speaks needs anything from anyone, especially since they’re already so powerful. GRASP, from my perspective, looks like it’s acting needy towards Autism Speaks, because it wants Autism Speaks to stop talking about people on the autism spectrum in such a destructive manner. Autism Speaks will naturally comply, because they can gain more by the information GRASP gives them than GRASP can by getting Autism Speaks to tone down their negativity towards spectrumites.
Whoever thinks talking politically/socially correct solves corruption is sorely deluded.
Some other books I would endorse are mentioned on my Links page and Aspergers post.
AS not a disease, disability, handicap, or disorder. However, since society would like it to be those things, society’s power (from its division of financial strength) enables this delusion rather than removing it.
Because Aspergers is a different way of thinking due to a neurological brain structure that’s not typically shared with the rest of society, Aspies are not allowed to be the final authority for deciding how Aspergers gets defined.
Those who hold the power to credentialize what Asperger’s syndrome is are backed by a population that far exceeds the one it prejudicially scrutinizes. It’s as if Aspies are criminals because of not abiding by the same rules that neurotypicals believe to be the only correct way for living. If this wasn’t so, then there wouldn’t be any problem with tolerating neurodiversity.
If neurodiversity was honored, many local and state chapters of prominent national autism organizations would not continue to remain generally unwelcoming to parents and individuals with Asperger Syndrome. I too have my own personal experience of this from the Hudson Valley Chapter of Autism Society of America that dominates my area.
Organizations like Autism Speaks and Autism Society of America do their best to appear as if they’re supporting everyone on the autism spectrum. If they really were supportive, then they would not be doing all they can to silence sources of information which go contrary to their agenda. As with politics, they know how to manipulate words, statistics, and people, to suit their goals.
Not enough time has passed to say whether or not the education industry shall strive for complete accuracy with what’s taught to its future PhD graduates about Aspergers. In my opinion (that I hope is incorrect), I doubt it. It wouldn’t be any different than how Lamaze classes got to be so popular today.¹
Ideally, professionals on the autism spectrum should be working as a team side-by-side with those not on the spectrum. Since that’s not typically the case, they remain clueless over the benefits gained by being united. Those who are united are way ahead in knowledge than those divided.
Neurotypicals, no matter how highly educated they may be, are not able to comprehend Aspies as well as Aspies can potentially grasp an understanding of how the NT mind works (provided that Aspies have trustworthy NTs around to collect accurate data from). This is why, even with research, most things that NT experts claim will always be speculations in comparison to what an enlightened Aspie has to offer.
The key to unlocking Asperger mysteries is in open communication between the mature adults of both the neurotypical and Aspie cultures. Communication does NOT exist by observing children on the autism spectrum and then drawing assumptions based on their behavior.
Keeping this in mind → Aspergers is who we are; not what we have.
Too much misinformation has spread because of panicking mothers with children on the spectrum starting organizations without putting forth effort or time towards learning what they could from people who have already lived in the same shoes as their AS children.
There should be no fear of Aspergers and/or Aspies any more than one for a particular racial population. Being wired neurologically different deserves the same kind of respect and acceptance as having a genetically different skin color. There is no reason for prejudice just because the former is not visible on the outside and the latter is.
Most employed Aspie adults I hear of are basically treated like slaves in the sense that rarely do they get hired for jobs they’re qualified to do. Instead, Aspies get hired for jobs like factory work, stocking shelves, janitorial duties, etc. Exceptions to this rule are usually due to location (Silicon Valley, NASA, etc.). If that’s not being discriminated against, I don’t know what is!
There are some brilliant self-employed Aspies who would never dare let others know they are Aspies, because they’re afraid of the negative consequences it could bring to their careers. These people create the best quality products and services worldwide. Their work ends up receiving top recognition through publications, but the proper credit remains silent. If it wasn’t for their Aspergers, they wouldn’t be great masters of the fields they are in. So what happens then? Aspergers gets more negative attention than positive.
It’s my guess that there are not enough AS adults speaking up in defense of Aspergers. I can understand why that might be. It’s hard to believe our influence can be worth much when we have so much opposition most of the time.
Take for example the blind attitude of superiority displayed on FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger’s Syndrome), Inc.’s website. Here is a quote from their front page: “Neuro-typical spouses have most of the answers to the questions being asked about adult Asperger’s Syndrome individuals’ lifestyles, behaviors.” For the last decade, groups like this have been promoting the idea that prolonged family contact with Autistic adults in romantic or family relationships is harmful to “normal” people. When names like Dr. Tony Attwood and Dr. Isabelle Hénault are associated with large hate groups like FAAAS, it compounds the growing prejudice against Aspies.
Without any counter-balancing organization like FABAS (Families of Adults Blessed by Asperger’s Syndrome) to tell the world about all the positive attributes of having an adult Asperger relative, the public will increase the already existing bigotry towards AS people.
Is it any wonder Aspies get labeled as being anti-social when we are always made aware of how much we’re not wanted just because we don’t think the same way as most others do and they don’t want to put forth the effort to better understand us?
Many people want to speak in behalf of autism awareness, but it’s one situation where many is not as important as who is speaking. Mature aspies/auties, generally speaking, can’t be heard through the voice of a parent, spouse, or organization giving their interpretation. True autism awareness must come straight from the source. That source is adults who are on the autism spectrum themselves. Many are bloggers. One site where some can be found are on the autism hub.
Be highly cautious about judging yourself or anyone else to either be or not be an Aspie based upon what you hear on television, read in a book, or find on certain popular autism websites. There is no one ideal source for information about Aspergers, but some are better than others. If you’d like to begin gaining insight, I recommend reading The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome by Tony Attwood and Theory of Mind and the Triad of Perspectives on Autism and Asperger Syndrome by Olga Bogdashina. Most library systems have Tony Attwood’s book available, but not Olga Bogdashina’s. A good quick and simple book is All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome by Kathy Hoopmann. It is 64 pages of expressive photos with brief text written primarily for children, but adults can benefit from and enjoy this book too. Plus, it’s a good one to leave on your coffee table for conversation.
As shocking as this may sound, most psychiatrists and psychologists — along with most who work in the public school system — (in my opinion) still should not be trusted to tell you if you, or your family member, has Aspergers… especially in court ordered situations. The level of misdiagnosing that occurs is shocking, but yet accepted. Most Asperger adults, who discover that they’re an Aspie, do so by doing their own homework. A lot of them then seek someone reputable who specializes in this field to receive a formal diagnosis for confirmation. Professionals in this area of expertise gain their education through what they learn from Aspies. Hans Asperger, the ‘discoverer’ of this syndrome,² is a classic example of one.
I share the same opinion as others who believe Aspergers does not belong on the autism spectrum. Those of us who hold this less-known view are often required to use the term High Functioning Autism because of how much has already spread into the mainstream which creates confusion.
Ideally, the best way to understand Aspergers is to live with an Aspie (that’s assuming you unconditionally love that person). Too many don’t, so the next best alternative is to befriend one. If at all possible, a wonderful method for AS awareness is to be a frequent guest of a group that gathers INDEPENDENT of any mental health organization — a group of Aspies who voluntarily get together like clubs do.
Aspie adults (often referred to as being on the autism spectrum) looking for a group to meet with in the Hudson Valley, do have one to attend that’s between New York City and Albany. It is Aspies of the Round Table. The best aspect of ART is that it’s a non-judgmental environment.
Most likely you’re not going to find one close to where you live yet, so the next best alternative is to read what Aspie bloggers are saying. Another option is to start a group yourself. If you’re wondering whether or not you might be an Aspie too, videos and some movies are excellent supplements to go along with what Aspies write. Take this one for example…
Alex Olinkiewicz’s video In My Mind is the first to arrive on the scene. ↓
He does not give the best description of what AS is, but he does give his best description of himself as an Asperger person. There is no perfect way to describe AS because it’s too complex. That does not mean though that people like Alex and I should not try.
I will not clutter this page with videos, so if you’d like to view a variety of other films depicting AS without feeling overwhelmed, I have some scattered in these posts:
The American Psychiatric Association plans to do away with the label Asperger’s Syndrome and call Aspies “High Functioning Autistics” in their next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Why? …because experts say, as a label, Aspergers Syndrome is vague and confusing. But yet an article published in the New York Times on November 2, 2009 by Claudia Wallis entitled, “A Powerful Identity, a Vanishing Diagnosis” states,
The proposed elimination of autism subtypes comes at the very moment when research suggests that the disorder may have scores of varieties. Investigators have already identified more than a dozen gene patterns associated with autism, but Dr. Lord, of Michigan, said the genetic markers “don’t seem to map at all into what people currently call Asperger’s or P.D.D.”
I find it interesting that these same experts no longer include homosexuality in their book for mental disorders. They originally referred to it as a “mental illness” and then it became called an “alternate lifestyle.” However, with Aspies, instead of them aiming to call that too an alternate lifestyle, they want the world to refer to it as belonging in the autism spectrum disorder category so that it can continue to be thought of as mental illness. What better way to protect the degrading image than to entangle it in with something more acceptably viewed as a “disease of growing epidemic proportions”?! Because of these ‘experts’, those in today’s society who don’t go along with the almighty American Psychiatric Association’s bible’s altered definition of homosexuals, get labeled as homophobic. If that’s the way this game is played, then I should get to call all those going along with what the confused experts say about Aspies as beingAspiephobic!
¹I asked my psych professor in college what caused women to think they needed to pay for classes to learn how to give birth to a baby. It was the same interesting answer that my midwife (who wisely didn’t insist on me learning the Lamaze technique) told me. Obstetricians nurtured the fear of childbirth to increase the percentage of women who want to go to a hospital when in labor. They also performed an excessive amount of cesarean operations for the same reason — financial profit. Obstetricians and midwives know that fear increases pain.
I didn’t need to be told all that information since I already knew it. I only wanted it confirmed out loud for others to hear. If Lamaze classes are needed for decreasing labor pain, then how did I manage to home birth my children relatively pain-free without having had any child-birth classes or drugs?
²Hans Asperger used the term syndrome in 1944 to describe the complex of concurrent things he discovered to exist among certain children in his practice. He did not imply that these children were diseased. This is what modern society began injecting into this label fifty years later.
