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My mind too often.

  • Posted on January 29, 2010

It’s kind of going through this season again…

Rabbit or duck season?

whether it’s creating a new weblog design¹ or new post.

I think I’ll allow comments for a change, but who knows for how long? Special events pass quickly.

I’m curious what my readers think of the new look for this site. Please don’t feel offended if I don’t make more alterations that what I’ve already done.

If you’re experiencing slower than usual page loading, it’s not the software’s fault. It’s the hosting company’s poor management of accounts they’ve acquired. They offer no money-back guarantee for dissatisfied annual subscribers.

[Edit added 14 hours after publication time — This post went up before I went to sleep last night. This morning it's as if the web hosting fairy came while I was asleep. I'm stunned by how much faster the pages load on my site! How's that for a weird coincidence?!?!]

[Edit added 3 days after publication time — This morning I see that the speed at which the pages on my site load has slowed down a lot. I guess the hosting company's service is also like my mind too often. Some kind of indecision has to be going on somewhere with them, because it's not me that's causing big fluctuations in loading speeds from one day to the next!]

¹The theme’s name is Victorian Xmas. Mel Pedley developed it. I removed the Christmas season look and gave it a garden touch by adding ivy leaves. The delicate wildlife reflects my nature (although I probably write like a nasty critter sometimes).

My Present Autism Theory

  • Posted on October 8, 2008

[Note: This post should really be titled, "My October 8th, 2008, Autism Theory." I do not have anything published online that would reflect whatever revisions I'd make to what I'm saying here in this post.]

I don’t feel quite ready to share with the world my present theory on autism, but since I don’t know what the future holds, maybe I should do it anyway.

I am beginning to see autism as being the other side of the coin of aspergers. It’s as if both are the same ‘neurological package’, which then explains much of the identical behaviors that lead people to lump Aspies and Auties together onto the Autism Spectrum. The difference that seems to becoming slowly evident (to me) is that one comes from the inside and reflects outward, whereas the other comes from the outside and reflects inward.

Aspergers is like my being naturally blonde and Autism would be like my left big toe’s nail. I’m not about to say Auties are a pain, so please forgive my lack of having a better analogy. The ‘after’ part of my toenail story leaves me with a less attractive toe than the ‘before’ one. The after toe is less painful when forced into shoes (to a NT world), but the before toe was fine when it could remain barefooted (in a neurodiverse world).

Once upon a time, I developed an ingrown toenail. Why, I don’t know…but I did. Because of giving in to a ’socially correct’ demand (without praying about it first), I went to a podiatrist to have him remove it by laser surgery… just for the sake of fitting into a pair of high-heeled shoes for once in my life (to attend a wedding)!

The ‘treatment’ caused my ingrown toenail to no longer appear. The laser beam destroyed that part of my toenail which was ingrown. Since that was the only way to end the symptom of the ingrown nail, it leads me to suspect that it was not truly ‘cured’ but rather merely ‘disappeared’. I can make my blonde (or now grey, depending on what kind of light I’m in) hair disappear too, if I dye it another color.

Aspergers can be masked (not totally, but enough to fool people) by practicing neurotypical behavior (first though it has to be taught, since it doesn’t come natural). Aspie behavior is natural for Aspergers people, because it is who we are (not what we are). Autism however, I’m beginning to suspect, is not natural. I don’t mean it is something that is learned or intentionally self-generated.

Autism seems to be something triggered from an external source. I believe this because physical illnesses are not natural, but yet people can live with them. Many are not even visible and/or make you feel bad. People can ‘recover’ from things like a stroke just like Jenny McCarthy claims her son Evan has ‘recovered’ from his Autism. That means, Autism can’t be cured, but it could possibly be ‘remedied’ for the neurotypical world’s satisfaction. To the Adult Autism Spectrum community though, this kind of change is not generally viewed as a ‘remedy’ but rather as ‘eugenic propaganda’. An analogy would be the debate between homo sexuality being something genetic (nature) versus self-inspired (nurture). [Saying this does not make me a bigot!] I’m not saying that Auties deliberately make themselves Autistic. Being Autistic can be as enjoyable to an Autie as someone who is gay can enjoy being a non-heterosexual. If my theory is true, that would mean Aspergers can’t be cured OR ‘remedied’. It would also mean Autism is not natural, but Aspergers is.

If my theory is correct, that would explain why Aspies get burned out from trying to act neurotypical for too long. The adrenaline it takes to keep doing so causes burnout during the middle aged years. This theory would also explain why children like Evan (assuming he is Autistic and not Aspergers) don’t look miserable when they are behaving in an apparent neurotypical fashion.

There would be explanations for many other things besides what I’ve already mentioned, if what I’ve said is true. The most important aspect of all this would be in the way neuro-a-typical children would be educated, trained, and pharmaceutically treated. The proper result would be a lot less children being medicated. It is a shame that there are people who feel threatened by quirky brilliance and prefer to deal with this kind of intelligence by administering drugs to dumb down what they can’t understand and don’t want too much time to think about.

I’ll enable comments for now, but will delete any that appear written for debate. I don’t really want to discuss my theory. I need to conserve my time and energy for other things and to continue researching more into this. Either new information I find will cause me to reconsider putting Aspergers back into the Autism Spectrum or it will confirm my suspicions even stronger.

Aspies are like snowflakes…

  • Posted on April 9, 2008

Aspies are like snowflakes in that no two are alike, except with snowflakes one needs to see them magnified in order to spot the variety. The variety of Aspergian breeds (Asperger’s syndrome people) that exist among the neuro-A-typical spectrum (autistics) causes almost all NTs (neurotypical people) to be oblivious over just how different we (Aspies) can be even among our own kind — that on top of our being quite peculiar to the rest of the world!

Adding to complexity, if an Aspie is taking meds, that factor will distort what others notice. Even if an Aspie does not take meds, moods may alter what impression is made. During the lifespan of an Asperger Syndrome person, stages can come and go that don’t match the norm for neurotypicals.

Besides people affecting how an AS child develops, pets and geographical location play an important part in what his or her adult life will be like.

Detecting Aspergers is more complex than most people can imagine.¹ Explaining it may even be harder. Film clips of Aspies do help others to see our distinguishing qualities, but in another way those kinds of images can cause a person to become blind to spotting an Aspie unlike any others they’ve seen recorded.

Juanita Lovett sums it up well in her book Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome, “I am often reminded that, ‘If you’ve seen one Aspie, you’ve seen one Aspie.’”

If what I’ve said so far sounds like it has done nothing but confuse you, then I’ve done my job. The best and biggest projects usually require a big mess before things start falling in place properly.

¹Not looking too conspicuously neuro-A-typical is both a blessing and a curse.

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