Now that I’m getting to know more about what my fellow adult Asperger friends go through in life, along with what I glean through from researching what other Aspies endure, it’s very difficult for me to remain non-emotional about it. Maybe that’s good I get upset because it just might be what’s needed since the majority of people are not going to care. What makes it worse is that there are too many in this category who go beyond not caring and enter into the hate group. The hate group automatic hate a person as soon as they find out s/he is an Aspie. These hateful people are absolutely no different than the Ku Klux Klan, except instead of seeking white supremacy they’re aiming for neurotypical supremacy. I have heard comments from this group who go so far as to unashamedly say they’d love to shoot and kill Aspies. I could understand it if an Aspie was malicious, but their target is to eliminate the lives of ALL Aspies, as if they sincerely believe there is such a thing as NT supremacy!
This explains why I see adults with Aspergers splitting into different directions as they get older. Some learn to structure their lives so as to minimize their need for going out of their self-constructed environment. It’s these people who love devoting themselves to their interests. They are called the eccentrics more than any other Aspie group. I imagine the reason is because the truly eccentric people are not influenced by what other people think about them. These folks (as I’ve previously mentioned in The Jigsaw Picture Unseen) are happier, healthier, and live longer. Society generally leaves them alone because they keep to themselves. This is my goal actually. However, since I’m torn between wanting to help others who I know are suffering NOT because of Aspergers, but because of too much supported bigotry towards Aspies, I find myself unable to keep quiet knowing all that I do. For self-preservation, I’ve learned to not care what other people think about me. If people refuse to see I how much I care about others, then that’s their problem and their loss.
I obviously am no longer in the group of Aspies who try continuously to ‘fit’ in and be as ‘normal’ as they can. I’ve wasted half a century of my life investing energy to accomplish this impossible feat. I perceive that unpaid job I made a career out of as now being one which I am retired from, except I not only never received any paychecks for my efforts, I also have no pension fund with which to rely on. Instead of receiving anything back from this effort to conform, I paid an expensive price for such foolish behavior. Suzanne C. Lawton refers to this cost as The Asperger Middle-Age Burnout in her book Asperger Syndrome: Natural Steps Toward a Better Life. Lawton shares on page 33 what Dr. Leslie Carter observed:
“She had noted this same behavior and attributed it to adrenal exhaustion from years of pumping out high levels of epinephrine from prolonged severe anxiety. Not only were these AS people dealing with their regular levels of anxiety¹, but they were also working extremely hard to maintain a façade of normalcy.”²
As Lawton points out, “Some AS people seemed to slip through this burnout crack. The common denominator was diet and relaxation.” How can any Aspie relax if, when s/he goes to a therapist on a regular basis over many years, is exposing her/himself to constant discouragement? The therapists mean well, but almost all are clueless over what way they are actually doing more harm than good to Aspies. All human beings need to feel good about who they are and no neurotypical psychologist is going to support an Aspie by trying to (futilely?) change society’s wrong attitude. Instead, they try to do the impossible by endlessly attempting to change the way a neuro-A-typical brain processes information. I wised up by the time I began sampling counselors, so I didn’t fall into that life-long trap. I can easily tell what Aspies are becoming mentally ill because of the mental health profession. I am not claiming that 100% of what the mental health industry does is pure destruction.
Unfortunately, the best source of information available for help with educating society in this regard is (for the most part) unavailable. Why? Because Aspies in therapy tend to wise up and learn to filter what they tell psychologists since they learn how what they say can end up being used against them. The smartest and wisest of all don’t even get involved with counseling because they’ve figured it all out already and know the outcome.³ Those who keep to themselves have learned how to protect their physical and mental health. They are the ones you’re NEVER going to hear about on television because no one can make any money off them.
¹This regular source of anxiety comes from having extraordinary levels of sensory input in a world full of people who are less sensitive physically.
²I emphasize the last part for those people, who have been in my past, to add that to their assumption of me being lazy. I’d also like them to know that I know they read my blog.
³These eccentrics are also in situations that enable them to survive financially without having to be forced into being someone who they are not.
