Cesar Millan always emphasizes exercise, discipline, and affection to achieve balance in a dog’s life. He also stresses that dogs need rules, boundaries, and limitations.
I get the idea behind teaching a dog that its owner must be the pack leader. Dogs are not to train their owner just like children should not be allowed to train their parents.
When I first got my Chi-Poo dog Rascal, she quickly began to establish dominance over me. She came from a breeder who kept her in a home environment with children, so she was socialized. When she moved in with me, she was 8 weeks old.
For the first year I had her, I became increasingly torn between keeping her versus returning her. Maybe because of knowing I had this option, I procrastinated over the idea of returning her. For me to return a dog like her, things have to get quite bad, and they did!
I’ve always had pets throughout my life, but I never encountered such a confusing situation as I did with Rascal. She would bite (puncturing skin) for no apparent reason at unpredictable times.
I got all kinds of advice on how to handle her. That doesn’t lead to a whole lot of consistency for someone who already struggles with indecision. It didn’t take me long to give up on trying to follow what others tried to tell me, especially since such an addiction used to be a lifetime nightmare of mine.
Rascal’s biting did not have any apparent pattern. I got bit while carrying her, even though nothing seemed to trigger it. She bit me while I was sleeping in bed.¹ I had to be careful when playing with her, since my hands were close to her mouth.² I was heartbroken and concerned over keeping such a dog because of grandchildren possibly getting bit too.
The woman I got her from said she could not understand why this was happening. She thought Rascal and I were a good match for each other. Her suggestion was to keep Rascal’s food dish empty until Rascal was hungry, and then feed her only what she would eat at that time. That was another tip I abandoned.
Besides the biting challenge, I never had a puppy that needed to relieve itself as many times in the day as Rascal did! We went outdoors about 30 times per day. To me, it was unbelievable behavior for a healthy dog. I later learned that little dogs do their business many more times per day than bigger ones. After Rascal matured beyond her first birthday, her need to go outdoors decreased to around 7-8 times per day. That’s interesting, considering how well she’s able to sleep for 9-10 hours straight through the night without needing to go outside. It didn’t take her long to learn to ring her doorbell to let me know when she wants to go out. I didn’t teach my cat, Puzzles, to use the bell. However, she watched Rascal and now if she sees I’m not paying attention to her, she smacks that bell when she wants to go outside to relieve herself (she also rattles the outer door when she is done and wants to come in).³
Now I’ll describe how off balance things were during this biting stage. Rascal did not receive the kind of exercise seen on National Geographic’s program Dog Whisperer. I thought she got plenty of exercise with the amount of playing that went on. As for discipline, I’m sure Cesar Millan would have a few words to say to me in that area. In regard to affection, I’ve never learned how to turn that valve off.
Even though Rascal bit me periodically during our first year together, I could not stop loving her more each day. Then one day her urge to bite simply stopped. I have only one guess as to why, because NOTHING other than my indecisive attitude changed.
It didn’t seem right that God would leave me in a state of confusion over deciding what would be best for Rascal—for me to keep her or not keep her. Confusion is the devil’s work. Peace is evidence of God’s will being done. I knew did not have peace, so I prayed to know what God would have me do. His answer was quick and clear→ keep Rascal, trust Him [God], and stop trying to get answers from anyone and/or anywhere else. At first, I didn’t like that answer because I was tired of not knowing how many more times I might get bit. I wanted to believe she’d be better off with someone else, but somehow I knew that would be a decision I’d regret if I acted upon it. However, I did notice an immediate peace that came with the decision to forget about the option of parting with her. I was ready to accept and do whatever it took (e.g., if need be, keep her crated while grandchildren are visiting, etc.). I vowed, ”I, Sheila, take you, Rascal, for my lawful pet, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for fun, for work, in pain from bites and in joy from laughs, until death do us part.” (I wouldn’t exactly call posting up a 350 foot long fence in poison ivy and hot weather without any assistance, along with 30 puppy potty trips/day, fun.)
Since that day of the unrevocable commitment, it’s amazing how wonderful Rascal has become! She’s also learned to speak (not sounding like a bark, but rather like a long ‘please’ except with a dog’s voice) when she wants help with something (like getting her ball out from under the couch). Rascal is very gentle with my eight month old granddaughter and my two year old grandson. She knows babies need dogs that know how to be around them. I see Rascal is confident with her own behavior and enjoys loving children. As soon as she hears their arrival, she gets so happy that she does a comical five minute dance—running around as fast as her little legs can carry her!
I now take Rascal for lengthy daily walks. However, I’m not so sure the discipline part of the equation equals the exercise and affection. It almost seems as if she never needs to be disciplined because she obeys so beautifully. She knows what pleases me and what doesn’t. When I’m pleased, she is. When she’s pleased, I am. She finally trusts me completely as a leader and loves it that way!
I guess the moral to this story is, “Whatever (or whoever) might be testing your patience, never give up. Loving persistence will be rewarded with many blessings.”
¹I did try keeping her in a crate during the night. That ended up with me not being able to sleep because of her crying.
²I was advised to use toys which would keep my hands not close to her mouth. Since the explanation wasn’t logical to me, I quickly discarded that tip too.
³My other cat, Oliver, is never permitted to go outdoors. That was one of the agreements Oliver’s breeder insisted upon. I gave my word I would keep to it. It wasn’t easy to watch Oliver learn to accept this, but now he is quite content with that arrangement. If I’m too wrapped up in what I’m doing and Puzzles happens to be outdoors when it’s starting to get dark, Oliver will remind me to tell her it’s time for her to come in for the night.
