I habitually keep my eyes open for errors I might spot (thanks to knowing how easy it is to make mistakes). That isn’t the same thing as using one’s time, which is normally devoted towards writing about something not already said, for editing posts already in existence.

If you’re tempted to think I’m just being an unnecessary perfectionist, then most likely you’re not understanding what goes on in my mind because my way of thinking is too different to comprehend.

I’m not saying everyone or even most people should be like me. I’m not trying to impress anyone either, at least in the way it might be interpreted. The reason I strive for being meticulous is because that is what is needed for helping people to think differently.¹ Whoever is unable (and/or unwilling) to see how important it is to be able (and/or willing) to be cognitively flexible should not even be reading my blog.

A lot of my edits might be minor, but some could potentially make a major difference. It all depends on the reader and on what I changed. When referring to changes, I’m including such things as: adding footnotes, making text bold, adding more of my own comments, disabling or enabling comments for certain posts, etc. I would never edit someone else’s comment(s).

As I reflect on all my posts that have accumulated over the year and observe their stats, I contemplate deleting ones which seem to be unpopular. No one likes to waste his or her time weeding through trash to find worthwhile reading material.

In school, English was one of my most challenging classes to keep from failing. Reading comprehension was difficult, but writing was even harder. I struggled over learning how to construct sentences and essays so that they would not be excessively long. I still do. As for organizing my thoughts? It’s obvious I have room for improvement. Who else categorizes their posts like I’ve ended up doing or gets indecisive over knowing how to use tags?

¹It’s the nature of an artist to be highly sensitive in regard to perceptions.

Another bit of new information I’ve gathered came from some rare feedback my husband graciously provided. He was under the delusion that I enjoy writing because I write in a blog. Poor guy . . . I had no idea that’s what he thought. If he thought that, then I would imagine other people do too. This is why I feel I should probably set some misperceptions straight in regards to a few misleading things.

Here is a great example of why I don’t enjoy writing:

Zinsser has confused me as to what exactly an ‘over the fence’ style of writing is. I barely understand how it annoys people, especially since I enjoy reading what people write when I feel like they’re talking to me. I totally comprehend how irritating being verbose is, but I’m sure that only those people who battle nightmarish levels of indecision realize how hard it is to separate what is ‘garbage’ from what is ‘enriching.’ Add to that, being highly sensitive towards ‘corrections’ that are blunt versus candid doesn’t help. Do people realize that there are some folks who have lived with just about nothing other than criticism and almost never have received encouragement? Imagine if all you heard throughout your life was, “You know what your problem is . . . ?”

No, this is not a call to solicit pity. It’s an awareness post to let my readers know why I write in spite of hating to do so. If I did not write, I would feel like I do not exist as a human being. I have no offline social life.¹ I can’t.² My blog is my ‘life jacket’ to stay afloat in this world. Because I can write (no, I’m not claiming that I write well), I must write. I have things to say that will destroy me if I keep them inside any longer. If people don’t want to read what I say, that’s totally fine by me. I understand, especially so knowing how arrogant I sound sometimes. I would delete the posts I wrote that make me cringe, but I leave them here because it’s the real me (plus, for me to decide what to keep versus editing and/or deleting would be hell).

These very words happening right now seem both self-centered and thoughtful. I’m writing about myself, but what I’m trying to say is being done with thoughtful intentions. Everyone is born with talents and a purpose in life. I have not learned what my talents are yet, but I am vaguely beginning to get a sense of my purpose in life. As much as probably many might think so, my purpose in life does NOT involve me keeping my mouth shut. However, I admit I run ahead of God’s will before realizing when I’m doing so. Those are probably my arrogant moments . . . but then we all have them now and then (some more than others).

¹I’ve tried all throughout my life, but I’m finally giving up. It’s best for everyone. I have a few acquaintances and I’m content with that. Plus, I now know that the best gift I can give to others is to leave them alone.

²The two people who know me the most in person agree that it is not possible for any person to know me unless they are forced to do so. They said it takes a lifetime to comprehend me. A decade or so begins the process, but that merely is a tip of the iceberg. Others agree with them. If anyone has read my claim, “I’m probably the most easily misunderstood person around,” please don’t think it was said lightly.